My Mental Status

** WARNING: Does contain some personal sexual content or references **

If you actually know me, some of this will probably come as a shock

I’m done. I can’t do this anymore.

  • I have no real friendships anymore, except for maybe Gerry & his partner. Catherine & I dont even talk to anymore, nor does she reach out to me. Her b-day present was for me to take her for a night out, a girls night – that was almost 3 months ago
  • My new friendships are.. well.. I dunno what they are. I just feel I’m being needy with them.
  • My cub pack has become more stress than enjoyment & I am super glad we are done for the summer after tonight. I’m not even sure I want to do even the one event/month we discussed.
  • I have very little interest in the 5 different Kik groups I am in &: administer. I’ve taken a break from Kik since Thursday. We’ll see what happens there
  • My family has no clue what’s going on My walks with my sister tend to revoke around her life both in timing & discussion. My parents seem to have no regard or respect for me as a person. My brother, and his family, is a non-entity in my life.
  • My ‘relationship’ which was a friend who benefits kinda thing, has better communication, granted, but all it seems to be is a fuck at his convenience or a ride to work when he needs one .
  • The D/s ‘relationship’ I have is not really doing anything. All I do is say good morning & good night. What is the point in that?

Honestly? Whats the point?

No. I am not suicidal. I am not planning to hurt myself in any way nor terminate myself. But I just have no joy, no enjoyment and no love my life. Plus no one actually reads this. So really, why bother.

I think I’m just gonna stay by myself. Stay in my apartment and not really do much. I’ll still do walks & soccer with my sister and keep in touch with Gerry. I’ll connect with my new friend Jenn from time to time. But beyond that, there’s nothing. & I really don’t care, cuz I’m done.

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