Archive for September, 2022

Camping 2023

September 20, 2022

I didnt get to go away and camp much this summer & enjoy it this year. I had my cub camp, I had Canada Day at the former BFF’s, and this recent explosion Didn’t even get a weekend away with the FWB independent on other people..

So next year, I’m saying “Fuck It!” Beyond my cub camp & my scheduled week at the cottage, I’m gonna book my own time away if people want to join, great! It’d not, Lilly & I can bond instead. I think I’m likely gonna be at conversation areas cuz I like the coverage better there & they tend to be cheaper.

My Campfire

Other than my own appointments & commitments (some may still be virtual), I don’t really have to answer to anyone.

I will have to contribute to the car maintenance & stuff more, but I’ll have to figure it out. The car, by mileage is due for an oil change, but not by the time frame, so I’ll have to do that early for them Actually shoulda had them do it yesterday while it was in the shop. **Shrug**

But that’s what I’m gonna do. You wanna join, give me a heads up, but beware there is limited space in my car, given equipment, food, clothing and the pup. ..

i still might be heading to Winnipeg, but if that’s gonna happen it’s soon, or next year. .

How the Cottage Went

September 16, 2022

Some of you may have noticed that some posts are no longer visible. In hindsight, probably not the best place to vent. So for those who missed it, here is my birthday weekend in a nutshell:

Needless to say, it sucked.

Shock

Cognitive Issues with this Project

September 13, 2022

I have been sewing to some extent, all my life starting with Brownie badges & Barbie clothes.

In Jr high I made a denim pencil case, some board shorts, & a couple of pillows. Growing up I helped Mom with her sewing projects

Over the years I’ve branched out on my own projects. I made myself clothing as some of the plus clothing in the stores just didn’t suit me or were poor quality. I’ve made pants, overalls, capris, dresses, camp ponchos, Halloween costumes, etc.. I even helped my mom make pajamas for my nieces. Then there were covid masks – lots of COVID tri-layered home made covid masks.

I’ve made alterations of different types including simple hems, preplacing elastic waist bands, reinforcing hems, adjusting the fit of dresses, mending of many a dog toy, not to mention tons of buttons & camp & uniform patched &:badges.

So, needless to say, I have had a decent grasp of the concepts with sewing.

Recently, my sister asked me to help her sew slip covers for her outdoor furniture. I agreed before I found out there were 28 cushions to cover.

Now, I know I’ve had cognitive impairments that have impacted my ability to function. Family members have not noticed to what extent this has impacted me, until this project.

Both my Mom and my sister are stunned with the amount of problems I’ve been having. We all agree I am not stupid. I’m quite intelligent but there are so many other ways I’m having issues.

Poor Communication : I think I’ve told someone something that I thought I had. I also have trouble explaining concepts, ideas, solutions in a way that others can understand I will bet I’ve not explained the problems accurately or succinctly enough below to make most people understand issues I encountered. Then solutions to problems (see below) that my sister recommended were the same as mine but just from a different angle but somehow I can not able to explain it. It happened so many times & I was so frustrated with myself that I just let her do what she wanted, sometimes even if I knew it was wrong and I couldn’t explain why.

Ability to Remember / Relearn : I should know basic sewing skills like how to thread a bobbin, which way to sew a hem, how & where to place a seam, knowing what stitches do certain functions, how hard to pull the material through, how quickly to run the machine. These are all basic skills I had and in some cases have taken up to a week to remember or relearn.

Poor Problem Solving Skills : With sewing from our own pattern, I’ve encountered multiple problems, many due to missing the skills above. I had taken me days to figure out solutions to some of the problems for example, seams. I keep reversing my seems and putting the seem on the incorrect side, putting the rough on the outside instead in the inside resulting in many seams being removed and redone. Another is sewing only the fabric required & not accidentally overlapping other parts of the material – I still did this a week after starting. My sister even said my problem solving skills were so bad that I probably would not even be able to work at a job as basic as McDonald’s.

Inability to make corrections: This goes with the problem solving skills. I had a piece of material with one side of velcro on it. I sewed the piece on correctly. However, I had seen it on incorrectly. I had though I’d put the velcro on the wrong side, so I ripped it off. This made the initial blunder even worse, because after I’d switch the velcro to the top, I was then able to see that I had sewing it correctly to begin with, but had reversed the seam. So I had to remove the piece and the velcro again. I had to replace the velcro to the original correct side and resew the side piece coorectly. I was so frustrated and almost in tears because I never would have made this massive double blunder when I was younger.

Spacial Impairment : First, I have a good background in mathematics including social orientation and had even earned a small scholarship as a result, but my sister never had that as a strength. So, as I mentioned above, we were sewing from our own pattern, nothing pre established. It was based on a YouTube video my sister watched. I’ve had alot of problems understanding the way she has wanted me to sew certain pieces on & how they should work together. The only way we were able to visualize how things should be done was by actually putting the fabric on the cushions. Neither of us could get the orientation in our heads. For my sister, that was fine, but for me, it had been a strength and I felt so useless.

It just upsets me, writing this post, to actually write down how many problems I have, how many intellectual skills I have lost. I’m almost in tears. Frustration? Grief? I don’t know.

So because of how obvious it has become, my mom & sister have both suggested I talk to my doctor about these issues Because I can not explain the issues well, my Mom is coming with me, and I’ve asked my sister to write up her opinion. She actually asked me if she wanted her to write it in a way that won’t hurt my feelings. I know it’s bad, so I told her to be blunt & straight up. I know she has great communication skills, so she will be able to express my problems in a way I can never do.

I asked Wendy to write something up for my doctor & accidentally got the date wrong so this is the quick blurb she wrote for my GP.

"So working memory… able to hold things in head to process them, general memory.. asking questions that u had asked a few minutes before, making same sewing mistake many times e.g side sections.. still sew up past stop line after 8 corners, doesn't occur to you figure problem solve this e.g double pin… you came up with solution but I brought up the idea to problem solve this."

I’m pretty sure the issues are due to fibro because I *have* had assessments done and even several MRIs because of it.

I have blood work which I have done and I’ve scheduled a cognitive and memory test for the 29th of August. I follow up Dr Uju I’m September 6th

Concerns About My Post Content

September 9, 2022

Firstly, if you don’t like it don’t read it.

Lately I’ve been getting criticized about the extent of, the detail of & excessive amount of information that I have been sharing on my blog in recent weeks..

Well. It is my blog and I can choose what I like true right, how I write it, the topics I choose and the fact that no I don’t burn my journal every 3 weeks like apparently I’m supposed to. This blog started in, I believe 2009. There are not a lot of people who actually read this so I’m not all that concerned. Pour a lot of the stuff specific names are not mentioned so nobody can complain that I am complaining or commenting but someone or something specific.

This blog is is mine. It is for me to share information including treatments, medications, self care, nutrition, exercise, etc. Also for me to share my feelings and emotions about myself. Others around me. My intimate and personal relationships.

Yes I’m sharing this, and I do know that this is going on to the internet and once it’s there there is no bringing it back. However no one really reads this and as per responses to request for feedback in other posts, no one really cares to share or to have issues with what I say..So I’m going to say whatever I bloody well please..

For courtesy sake I will, have & do give warning on sexual or intimate topics that certain people in my life may not wish to her. And just in general it may be considered an overshare which is why the warning is there. In bright red…

Enjoy this corner of my mind

fyi

September 6, 2022

For me, with depression, comes short temper, bitchiness a short fuse, isolation and zero motivation.

The only time you will see me do are the ones that are required, in my opinion, I’m dealing with one of my vices, are the rare times I am trying to get out of my head.

if I want to talk, I’ll tell you.

Protected: The Final Birthday Diss

September 3, 2022

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Protected: The Accumulated Issues

September 1, 2022

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