November is RSD/CRPS Awareness Month

RSD stands for Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy which is an order term for CRPS which starts for Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. November is the awareness month for this multi-named chronic pain condition . See the images below for more information..

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One Upmanship

I read an article recently entitled Why Is My Friend with Fibromyalgia Trying to One-Up Me? and I could totally relate.

I have several friends who are fellow fibromites, women with fibromyalgia, each to varying degrees and varying function levels. I can speak about these issues with them, comparing yes, but also supporting each other. But I did have one in particular that would always work her pain in the conversation and make it sound worse than anyone else’s could possibly be.

This lady who I am no longer friends with works full time because “she can’t afford not to.” While when her & hubby constantly go out for dinner, go to concerts and socialize, and spend money lavishly, it’s no wonder she can’t afford it. But I’m curious as to how bad her pain really is if she works full-time and does all this other stuff. (Yes, I know that sounds a little judgey, but she makes me angry with this behaviour of hers)

She would berate me for not working, for taking disability. I am on both provincial and federal disability supports. Admittedly, I have in recent years, worked the federal, provincial and municipal elections. This is a single day, paid position. Yes, it is a long day. She thinks because I can do those one-offs, I should be able to work regularly. After those single days of work, I’m toast for up to three, four days later, even have been almost bedridden the first day after. How would I be able to work a regular job if I’m in too much pain & too exhausted after a day of work to even do the very basic daily activities of living?

Even tho we were good friends, she never saw me when I was feeling poor, and didn’t even talk much when I was, at one point, bedridden. So, while she is comparing, she’s not accurately comparing what my true issues are and even then, most of them are different from hers.

She doesn’t really understand that it is not a competition..

I also addressed this topic in a previous post, My fibro is not her fibro.

The Process of Doing Laundry

There is something that healthy people don’t realize about those dealing with chronic pain. That is the unrelenting exhaustion that occurs when dealing with and fighting chronic pain. This exhaustion severely exacerbates energy levels so sometimes we can’t do everything in one shot. Laundry is an excellent example of this.

When doing laundry, most people will throw stuff in the wash. When the cycle is done they will throw the clothes from the wash to the dryer and throw in another wash another load to wash. When the dryer is done it will take out the clothes into a laundry basket, fold them, then put them away. Then they repeat as needed.

There’s no way I could do all that. Not with the other things I need to get done in a day. So for me, laundry is a multi-step process.

1. Organizing clothing.

While this is frequently merged with the next step, it isn’t always. If I have a full hamper of clothing, I have to take it all out and separate it into different loads including a gentle load, potentially a white load bleach and then splitting up the colors into two balanced loads. Just the weight of picking up putting down and moving around clothes especially if there’s something heavy like towels, that can get pretty tired and pretty fast.

2. Washing.

From here, I have to get the clothing from the laundry hamper in my bedroom to the laundry room. Fortunately for me my laundry is on the same floor as my bed room. But carrying that much weight and then starting the cycle and making sure all the clothes are in and balanced. Well healthy people don’t think twice about this again it gets really tiring really fast.

3. Drying clothes.

I have a stacked washer dryer so picking up heavy wet clothing from the washing machine and pulling it up above head level into the dryer takes quite a bit of effort. Again most people don’t think twice about something like this. After getting everything in the dryer, making sure all the laundry balls (because I don’t use dryer sheets) are evenly distributed through the load because half the time I forget to do that ahead of time. So this means moving around all these heavy wet clothes, again. Now sometimes it’s a gentle load and that requires me to take things out move them across to the other side of the laundry area and it’s a pretty big space considering, and hang each item up carefully on the drying rack. Fortunately, gentle loads are rarely a big load and lighter in the summer than in the winter.

4. Emptying the dryer.

I can put a laundry basket on top of the washing machine and carefully drag clothing out of the dryer into the laundry basket. This is not the difficult part. The difficult part is bringing it out to the living room which is where I tend to fold my clothes. While they are no longer wet, they still tend to be heavy and I have to carry that from one side of the apartment to the other. Most people don’t think that’s a long distance but when you’re carrying that much weight and yes for someone on chronic pain that’s a lot of weight, that far it can be painful and exhausting. Then if I also have to grab the dry gentle clothing it’s on the drying rack on my way by that makes the basket even heavier.

5. Folding clothes.

I tend to procrastinate, I will admit that so this is partly a problem of my own making. As a result by the time I get around to folding my clothes, I usually have a couple of full baskets of clean laundry. Fortunately I have very little that actually wrinkles. I tend to take my time and organize the clothing as I’m folding it, while I’m watching TV. Watching TV while I’m folding is it good distraction so I don’t notice the pain or the fatigue as much. I will agree that lifting one item at a time and folding it and putting it down it’s not that big of a deal but doing that process over and over and over again for an hour or two, takes its toll. Yes it takes me that long to fold my laundry.

6. Putting Away.

As I fold, I tend to organize everything. T-shirts that go to the dresser together, pants that get hung, go together, hoodies go together, socks in one pile, undergarments in another, and pj’s all together. It makes it easier, but those baskets must also be brought back to the bedroom and the weight can be excessively heavy as I move basket after basket. But again I procrastinate until I’m actually looking in the clothing for specific items.

The issue with putting things away isn’t so much the stuff that goes into drawers, but the stuff that gets hung. I have a walk in closet & most of my clothing hangs from a rod just above my own height. Jean are the worst, not only do I have to get them on a pant hanger correctly, they are also heavier than most of my other clothing & the weight hangs long making it more difficult to maneuver. Especially if I have several pairs of pants, I may not be able to empty all the baskets cuz lifting clothing above my head stresses my arms & back exacerbating the exhaustion of the activity.

Conclusion.

So, not only do I have to do this in steps, resting between, this process can take a few days to work through because the pain and exhaustion severely limits the amount of energy one has.

Get Well Soon

I mentioned previous about losing my bff. It was not a death, but an abrupt severing of the relationship.

Recently another friend of mine mentioned that she had posted on her Facebook that she’d had another stroke & that her husband had performed CPR on her while he waited for the ambulance. Dunno the extent of truth in that, cuz she’s always been a bit of a drama queen. But she was definitely in the hospital & taken by ambulance.

Apparently she was home a few days later, so I suspect not quite as life threatening as she alluded to.

Either way, I was driving by her neighbourhood on my way to & from a doctor’s appointment, so I stopped off at Dollarama to get a simple Get Well Soon card. In it I wrote:

“I know we are no longer friends, but I wish you no ill will. I hope you finally get your health issues sorted out. I also hope that you get things resolved with Brett for the long term He’s a good guy. K”

I dropped off the card on my way home. The next days I am informed she has a new post “Whoever is talking about me behind my back, you are welcome to unfriend me.” I guess she didn’t appreciate the card.

The thing she doesn’t realize, if that’s “talking about her behind her back” people have been doing that for as long as I’ve known her.

Last 2 Weeks

I went on a bit of a downwards slide on the weekend before Halloween. Found out my ex has a promise ring from his new girl. He proceeds to show it to me, tells me what it is, and realizing his stupidity says, “it’s not what you think it means”. Well it may not mean much to him, but I’m sure it does to her.

She also has to have ordered it while he & I were still together. Not impressed.

Spent the next week either busy af, or just feeling everything. No middle ground. Either complete distraction or completely emotional. No stability.

Slowly been trying to work through my emotions about the end of that relationship this last week.. Ups and down, but they are becoming a little less of a roller coaster. Even small improvement is improvement.