Archive for the ‘Depression’ Category

#BellLetsTalk, #BellCause

January 28, 2021
#BellLetsTalk – #BellCause

Today, with your support, Bell will donate towards mental health initiatives in Canada .You do NOT have to be Canadian or in Canada to participate.

For Bell customers, 5¢ is donated for every phone call & text message (but not iMessages) of the Bell network.

For every tweet and retweet using #BellLetsTalk or #BellCause Bell will donate 5¢.

For every video view on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Pinterest, SnapChat & TikTok, Bell will donate 5¢.

For every video uploaded to TikTok using #BellLetsTalk or #BellCause, Bell will donate 5¢.

Every time you use the Bell Let’s Talk Snapchat filter Bell will donate 5¢ 

Each time you use the Bell Let’s Talk Facebook frame Bell will donate 5¢ 

It’s OK To Not Be OK

December 14, 2020

My sleep schedule is screwed up again, not a surprise. So my intention was to get up early, relatively speaking, today.. That did not happen.

When my alarm went off yesterday, I kept hitting snooze and hitting snooze and hitting snooze. My brain didn’t want to get up yet.

So when I finally did get coherent, I really did not want to get out of bed. I don’t feel like I’m in the mental space to do much. So I canceled all my plans for today which included pickups for items for my Cubs, a run around the dog park with my pup and a visit to a friend.. all I’ve done today is let my dog out and go to the bathroom.. I still need to grab a bite to eat though and that will be something quick and dirty.

But it’s okay. Some days it’s just hard mentally, emotionally. Some days it’s just more difficult to cope. And for me yesterday it was one of those days.

it’s OK to not be OK.

Just recognize it for what it is and be aware. If it’s just a one-off like mine tend to be, you could just bounce back and be yourself tomorrow. Sometimes it takes a while.. couple of days.. a week to get out of the funk. If it goes more than a week though, consider talking to someone. Even just virtually, it can help..

The Risk of Suicide

September 5, 2020

I recently saw this posted online:

I recently saw this Statistic online.. Given my history I’m not surprised, but is it true?

What my research shows is that a Dutch study published in October 2019. found that women with Fibromyalgia have a 10-fold increase in risk for suicide.

“Our data show that both suicidal ideation and the risk of suicide were higher in both patient groups compared with the controls, but they were highest in patients with fibromyalgia. Depression was the factor most strongly associated with both suicidal ideation and the risk of suicide. Examining the characteristics of both patient groups, it was apparent that pain intensity and physical health were similar but that the severity of depression and mental health status were significantly worse among patients with fibromyalgia. Sleep quality was poor in both groups but was worse among patients with fibromyalgia.”

Anothervarticle expands in that, claiming mutiple studies support this, but I have not found additional studies. This same articles states that Fibromites are about three times more likely than other chronic pain patients. Given he lack of confirmation of the first comment, I’m not sure how reliable the second claim is.

Multiple studies conducted as a result of the Dutch research has encountered a slightly different conclusion. These additional studies have determine that while yes, Women with Fibromyalgia do have an increase risk of suicide. However, this statistic is only accurate within a sub-set of this. They determined that women with Fibromyalgia who *also* have depression are ar a 10 tunes increase in the risk of suicide.

The most recent independent study shows a mild to moderate risk of a suicide in fibromyalgia patients. This study also, unlike previous, takes into account other factors including age, gender, occupation status, monthly income, NSAID use, and comorbidities. .

My Conclusion: People with Fibro have no more risk of suicide than other chronic pain patients. But people with Fibro AND depression/anxiety are at significant risk of suicidal ideologies.

However, it is important to remember that fibromyalgia and depression are strongly related. Patients with fibromyalgia frequently suffer from a comorbid major depressive disorder,

When treating women with fibromyalgia, doctors should be on the lookout for depression and warning signs of suicide, according to a new study.

Source articles:

https://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/730633

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3998848/

https://www.painnewsnetwork.org/stories/2018/9/22/fibromyalgia-and-the-high-risk-of-suicide

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5591103/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3998848/

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-fibromyalgia-suicide-idUSTRE66F3JJ20100716

https://journals.lww.com/md-journal/fulltext/2016/11010/increased_risk_of_a_suicide_event_in_patients_with.20.aspx

International Overdose Awareness Day

August 31, 2020

I recently only found out about this day of awareness by a flier & purple flowers that caught my eye.. I saw this in, of all places, Lakefield Ontario.. Population 2,753.

International Overdose Awareness Day is a global event held on 31 August each year and aims to raise awareness of overdose and reduce the stigma of a drug-related death. It also acknowledges the grief felt by families and friends remembering those who have died or had a permanent injury as a result of drug overdose.

International Overdose Awareness Day spreads the message that overdose death is preventable. Thousands of people die each year from drug overdose. They come from all walks of life.

This is kind of important for mecuz when my mental health was bad.. this was my consistent choice of dealing, or rather not dealing with mybisdues..

She Saved Me!

July 17, 2020

In November of 2011, a little puppy was born. In February of 2012, she became mine.

Prior to us getting her, I’d had alot of issues. My relationship was severely toxic & abusive. I was no longer was in contact with close friends & family. My health was rapidly deteriorating & my disability made me almost house bound. My depression started going into overdrive & I did not deal well.

As a result, I have lost track of the number of suicide attempts I had over the first 5-6 years of our relationship. It was so bad that I wrote on my meds list “In the event of a Suicide Attempt Do NOT Let me go home”. I was on 5 different antidepressants & they were not mixing well either.

But my life Changed when in February 2012 when I was given a life to take care of. Lilly.

I now had a “reason to live.”

She became my world. She was 100% mine. My partner did close to nothing with her on his own. He didn’t feed her, groomer her, take her out. He did occasionally play with her, but I don’t think he ever loved her. But I did.

So despite the increasing toxicity, I was able to survive because I had her. I had to be around to take care of her. I honestly believe, she would have suffered if I was gone & left with him.

She was my world. She was the reason I got up in the morning – literally. I had to take her out for a walk in the morning to do her business.

My relationship came to a sudden end when his son overheard his Dad threatening Lilly’s life. Now I don’t know if the boy knew his Dad was talking about Lil, or if he thought the treat was towards me. Either way he called 911. My ex was arrested and charged with Uttering Death Threats I believe the charge was.

I took Lilly & moved back home to my parents despite their misgivings. I got counselling, months and months of counselling. I was able to focus on my health. I reconnected with old friends and made new ones. I managed to maintain friendships from the time I was with him despite him. I am so lucky to have both of my best friend’s back as two of the closest people to me. I’ve rebuilt my relationships with family, my parents, my sister & her family, my brother & his family.

I am happy, reasonably healthy, and alive. Thanks to her.

My Weight Loss Journey

July 7, 2020
I’ve always been a bit on the bigger side, a little chubby… I was 120lbs starting junior high, finished high school at 180lb, spent my 20s near 220-230lb.. About 15 years ago, I joined weight watchers with my mom and my weight had maxed out at 275lb. I lost almost 60lb on that program. But after that, my lifestyle completely changed and it turns out, not in a good way. So finally about 8-10 years ago, I stepped on the scale weighing a whopping 303lb.

I did not like that number, but wasn’t really in a position to do much about it. Between finances & available services & programs there’s not much I could do. So I started just eating less.. In the summer, we would walk over to the community pool and I would swim – not laps really, but just treading water.. it took a few years, but I lost about 25 lb in 4-5 years with that schedule. Very slow progress, but progress nonetheless.

At that point I moved out of the city, back near my family. My rent included membership to the local YMCA gym. I didn’t figure I’d be using the actual gym much, but I knew I’d use the hot tub. So, I used the hot tub 5-6 days of the week. I then started doing a yoga class at the gym for about a year until the instructor switched times. Then about 2 years ago,, my mom invited me to join her aquafit class..I started doing not much more than bouncing around in the water. But it was fun, so I kept coming back..

At this same time, my eating habits got better. While I still ate junk food, it was less often, and I was eating at least one good healthy & nutritious meal a day. That’s much better than before where fast food was the norm and serving sizes were twice what they shood be.

In the Aquafit, I was slowly working with increased intensity in the class… I started going to a second class later in the week. . The weight started coming off faster.

I tried to add jogging into the mix, but I just couldn’t get into it mentally, not on the ground and my lungs could not handle the cardio What I did do, I would run laps in the water. This worked the muscles but the cardio wasn’t as strong as I was unable to keep my breath while jogging .

I was improving. My health was getting better, pain levels went down (no, not gone, unfortunately), and my clothing started to get looser and looser.

I had items in a size 26 in my closet. I was swimming in those.most of my clothing was a 3X.. and I started to swim in those.

I feel better.. I feel healthier and happier. I actually feel like myself again.

Where do I stand now? I am a size 16, currently weighing in at 207lb, as of my last weigh in. a total loss of 97 lb so far.

Final goal? 180lb.

About Fibro (Pt II)

June 30, 2020

This is a long read, but if you haven’t ever seen/read it, then it is most def worth the time. Because of it’s length, I’ve made it 2 posts. Fell free to use it for your own use if you so desire.

About Fibromyalgia

Being sick doesn’t mean I’m not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit I probably don’t seem like much fun to be with, but I’m still me stuck inside this body. I still worry about school and work and my family and friends, and most of the time I’d still like to hear you talk about yours too.
The difference between “happy” and “healthy”. When you’ve got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but I’ve been sick for years. I can’t be miserable all the time, in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So if you’re talking to me and I sound happy, it means I’m happy. That’s all. It doesn’t mean that I’m not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I’m getting better, or any of those things. Please, don’t say, “Oh, you’re sounding better!”. I am not better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, you’re welcome.
Being able to stand up for ten minutes, doesn’t necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. And, just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn’t mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you’re either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one it gets more confusing.
Repeat the above paragraph substituting, “sitting”, “walking”, “thinking”, “being sociable” and so on … it applies to everything. That’s what FMS does to you. – Please understand that FMS is variable. It’s quite possible (for me, it’s common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I’ll have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please don’t attack me when I’m ill by saying, “But you did it before!”, if you want me to do something then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute, if this happens please do not take it personally.
“Getting out and doing things” does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. Telling me that I need a treadmill, or that I just need to loose (or gain) weight, get this exercise machine, join this gym, try these classes… may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct… if I was capable of doing these things, don’t you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and physical therapist and am already doing the exercise and diet that I am suppose to do. Another statement that hurts is, “You just need to push yourself more, exercise harder…” Obviously FMS deals directly with muscles, and because our muscles don’t repair themselves the way your muscles do, this does far more damage than good and could result in recovery time in days or weeks or months from a single activity. Also, FMS may cause secondary depression (wouldn’t you get depressed if you were hurting and exhausted for years on end!?) but it is not created by depression.
If I say I have to sit down/lie down/take these pills now, that I do have to do it right now – it can’t be put off or forgotten just because I’m out for the day (or whatever). FMS does not forgive. – If you want to suggest a cure to me, don’t. It’s not because I don’t appreciate the thought, and it’s not because I don’t want to get well. It’s because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest one at one point or another. At first I tried them all, but then I realized that I was using up so much energy trying things that I was making myself sicker, not better. If there was something that cured, or even helped, all people with FMS then we’d know about it. This is not a drug-company conspiracy, there is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with FMS, if something worked we would KNOW.
If after reading that, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, but don’t expect me to rush out and try it. I’ll take what you said and maybe discuss it with my doctor.

In many ways I depend on you – people who are not sick – I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out… Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the the doctor, or to the physical therapist. I need you on a different level too . You’re my link to the outside world… if you don’t come to visit me then I might not get to see you. … and, as much as it’s possible, I need you to understand me.

About Fibro (Pt I)

June 29, 2020

This is a long read, but if you haven’t ever seen/read it, then it is most def worth the time. Because of it’s length, I’ve made it 2 posts. Fell free to use it for your own use if you so desire.

About Fibromyalgia

My Need for Massage Therapy– If I get a massage every week, don’t envy me. My massage is not your massage. Consider how a massage would feel if that Charley horse you had in your leg last week was all over your body. Massaging it out was very painful, but it had to be done. My body is filled with painful knots. If I can stand the pain, regular massage can help, at least temporarily.

My Good Days – If you see me smiling and functioning normally, don’t assume I am well. I suffer from a chronic pain and fatigue illness with no cure. I can have my good days or weeks or even months. In fact, the good days are what keep me going.

My Uniqueness – Even those who suffer from FMS are not alike. That means I may not have all of the problems mentioned above. I do have pain above and below the waist and on both sides of my body which has lasted for a very long time. I may have migraines or hip pain or shoulder pain or knee pain, but I do not have exactly the same pain as anyone else. (Keep an eye out for the reposting of the topic “My Fibro is Not Her Fibro”)

My Weight – I may be fat or I may be skinny. Either way, it is not by choice. My body is not your body. My body’s metabolism is broken, and nobody can tell me how to fix it. Often the medication I must take causes weight gain, but many of us with fibro suffer from severe IBS and lose weight.

My Stress – My body does not handle stress well. If I have to give up my job, work part time, or handle my responsibilities from home, I’m not lazy. Everyday stresses make my symptoms worse and can incapacitate me completely.

My Depression – Yes, there are days when I would rather stay in bed or in the house or die. I have lost count of how many of Dr. Kevorkian’s patients suffered from FMS as well as other related illnesses. Severe, unrelenting pain can cause depression, but it is a result of the Fibro.. not a cause of it.. Your sincere concern and understanding can pull me back from the brink. Your snide remarks can tip me over the edge.

My Sensitivities – I just can’t stand it! “It” could be any number of things: bright sunlight, loud or high-pitched noises, textures, odors, food, etc.. FMS has been described as the “aggravating everything disorder.” So don’t make me open the drapes or listen to your child scream. I really can’t stand it.

My Intolerance – I can’t stand heat, either. Or humidity. If I am a man, I may sweat…profusely. If I am a lady, I perspire. Both are equally embarrassing, so please don’t feel compelled to point this shortcoming out to me. I know. And don’t be surprised if I shake uncontrollably when it’s cold. I don’t tolerate cold, either. My internal thermostat is broken, and nobody knows how to fix it.

My Clumsiness – If I step on your toes or run into you five times in a crowd, I am not purposely targeting you. I do not have the muscle control for that. If you are behind me on the stairs, please be patient. These days, I take life and stairwells one step at a time.

My Forgetfulness – Those of us who suffer from it call it fibrofog. I may not remember your name, but I do remember you. I may not remember what I promised to do for you, even though you told me just seconds ago. My problem has nothing to do with my age (Young people can get fibro) but may be related to sleep deprivation. I do not have a selective memory. On some days, I just don’t have any short-term memory at all.

My Fatigue – I am not merely tired. I am often in a severe state of exhaustion. I may want to participate in physical activities, but I can’t. Please do not take this personally. If you saw me shopping in the mall yesterday, but I can’t help you with yard work today, it isn’t because I don’t want to. I am, most likely, paying the price for stressing my muscles beyond their capability.

My Pain – My pain is not your pain. It is not caused by inflammation. Taking your arthritis medication will not help me. I cannot work my pain out or shake it off. It is not even a pain that stays put. Today it is in my shoulder, but tomorrow it may be in my foot or gone. My pain is believed to be caused by improper signals sent to the brain, possibly due to sleep disorders. It is not well understood, but it is VERY real.

Mental Illness Portrayed in the Media

February 23, 2017

Mental Illness Portrayed in the MediaW

by: Anita Levesque on January 23, 2017.

girl interrupted

Chances are the majority of knowledge of mental health comes from the media. Researchers have suggested that most portrayals in the media are stereotypical, negative and incorrect. Stigma towards mental health has been in the media as far back as the 1800’s; “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”; dissociative identity disorder, formerly called a split personality disorder or multiple personality disorder. Inaccurate portrayals of people with mental illness has created negative stereotypes in all types of media; internet, television and print material such as magazines and newspapers.

In most cases, the psycho killers, crazy girlfriends/boyfriends, stalkers and criminals all have some kind of mental illness according to Hollywood. All too often the result is that of our culture’s fear and ignorance towards mental illness.

This is where the stigma takes affect; the majority of people living with a mental illness are most likely to be victims of violence rather than committing the crime, based on a study in 2014.

I was a Criminal Minds fan up until a few years ago. I noticed they included ties between the crime and a mental illness; it was in every episode and I cannot watch it anymore.

The movie “Split” which came out in theatres January 20, 2017, has a lot of controversy within the mental health community. I have read comments on Facebook from some people who live with mental illness and still want to watch the movie because it’s that – a movie. There are others who live with mental illness and are disgusted at how the movie shows Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) formerly known as split personality, multiple personality disorder and also frequently mislabeled as Schizophrenia.

Sometimes the stigma attached to mental illness is so strong that people are usually unwilling to seek help out of fear of what others may think.

It’s not all negative in the media. Here is a partial list of movies that honestly depict mental illness in their true form.

1/ Rain Man (1988)-Autism

2/ What About Bob (1991)-Anxiety

3/ As Good As it Gets (1997)-OCD

4/ A Beautiful Mind (2001)-Schizophrenia

5/ Silver Linings Playbook (2012)-Bipolar

6/ Inside Out (2015)-General mental health

7/ Benny & Joon (1993)-Schizophrenia

What can we do to help end this stigma in the media?

– call or write to the publisher or editor of the newspaper, magazine, book, or radio and TV station. Help them realize how their publication has affected those people with a mental illness

– start a discussion about that movie, TV show, article you read etc. Explain how it really is living with a particular mental illness

– KEEP TALKING & KEEP LISTENING

Original Post: http://mentalillness-doyouknow.com/mental-illness-portrayed-in-the-media/

#BellLetsTalk Healthy Minds Canada #SickNotWeak #endstigma #mentalillnessinmedia

Thinking of Suicide? Please Read!

February 22, 2017

Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it , everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.

People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.


Personal note: I’ve been there where it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it, even tried several times over the years… I’ve been in those shoes, so I have an idea of what’s going on in the head.. it may not seem it right now, but you are loved and if you need someone to talk to I’m here..