Archive for the ‘Pain’ Category

Crash and Burn II

August 16, 2022

So I overdid it on the Civic holiday weekend and crashed as a result. I’ve been in a flare ever since.. This is a continuation of Crash and Burn.

As I said, Monday was about the same, pain-wise & still working on my sister’s project, but finally got a decent amount of work done on with this project. I think there was no improvement on Monday because I went to soccer.

Tuesday morning showed some more small improvement. That afternoon was my appointment with Dr Sithaparanathan at Neupath Pain Clinic (formerly CPM). Got my full shots & she gave me big trouble for over doing it. She asked my why I overdid it cuz she knows I’m pretty in tune with my body & it’s pain. I had lidocaine infusion on the Tuesday prior & the pain relief was still in effect which is why I didn’t feel any pending problems I guess the impact work off Sunday night/Monday morning while I slept.

So Tuesday afternoon was better, and was spent again at my sister’s.

I noticed significant improvement in weight bearing on Wednesday. The week prior, I was unable to pick up the sewing machine, even just to lift it from the table My brother-in-law had to come over and pick it up to take it to my sister’s. Today, however, I was running errands, one of which was to get the light bulb changed which required me to take the machine with me. I was able to carry it now. It was a bit of a struggle, but I was able to do it, take it out to the car. Yay!


A set of ushions for my sister's outdoor love seat, one of you have been working on

As you can see, we are getting it done & here’s a view of one of her love seats in case I didn’t share before. This just shows the look we are going for with this completed loveseat.


I got some of my own stuff done that day cuz I was not at my sister’s doing stuff, tho several of my errands were related.

At this point, I was still having trouble getting moving in the mornings – usually afternoons right now. Pain levels are still higher when I wake and still having problems getting decent sleep Sunday – 6hrs, Monday – 6 hr, Tuesday after my shots was good with almost 7½, Thursday – 5¾hr, Friday – 4hrs.

While I’m *in* bed by midnight, I am not tired til at least 2am, some times up until 4am. There are also where I wake in the middle of the night wide awake. None of this helps my sleep. Thursday was bad with a combination of both. I was in bed shortly before 1am attempting to sleep. According to my Fitbit, I dozed off at 3:30am & up at almost 5, wide awake and unable to get back to sleep until 8 but even then for only 3 hours before being wide awake. And people wonder why I am completely exhausted some days.

So, overall, pain got better and better, but I was still getting exhausted each day.

i also began to have problems with my ankle &: my knee. Being on vacation, my knee has been fine.. was even good on Sunday after being off seeing since Thursday. However, being Wednesday of my week off, I’m pretty sure the peddle usage has aggravated my gout. I’m icing it & tossing it in my tensor when I’m doing any significant walking.

Let’s hope, with us not starting back up after the long weekend that it starts to heal up on its own. 🙂

Crash & Burn

August 12, 2022

The August long weekend was spent at home, the first time in several years, even doing covid. Typically I would be up at bff’s cottage, but she wanted the weekend starting her vacation to just be her & hubby..

Instead, I spent it in the GTA. Thursday night I went walking with my friend Tracy as my sister was at the cottage on vacation. We went 5.18 km according to my fitbit. Pace was 7.8 km/hr which is pretty good. Average speed for someone our age is about 4.5km/hr. So a good clip.

Friday was a quiet day, but Saturday started with my mom having a hissy fit about all my stuff in their space, so I spent the afternoon hauling any of my personal belongings & any cub supplies I had from the garage and into the backyard , either to my indoor space or my father’s shed. Between 2 & 6:30, my fit bit recognized three instance of exercise. 2 were classified as walks, but one was registered as sport. This tells you how hard I was working. That evening I went out to a bar with friends. Some were new to our group, so we had some ice breaker activities & lots of chat, getting to know new people. Then off to the dance floor until I left shortly before 1am.

Sunday registered a walk on my fit bit at 12 and I don’t remember what I was doing.. likely at noon I’m still dragging my ass outta bed,, esp when I wasn’t home until 2.. ( I realized layer it was 12 midnight & I was dancing).. I then took the pup to the dog park and we took the longer path. I did yoga for about a half hour & change. *Then* I went to soccer & I was exhausted by the end.

I woke Monday morning, thinking “Hmm.. I’m not too bad.” Then I moved. Boy was I wrong! 8/10, easy, & pure fibro pain. Not alot anyone can do anything for that.. Plus ongoing muscle cramps in my legs on & off until I got some magnesium on Wednesday, which helped..

So I spent the holiday Monday in bed, same with Tuesday & Wednesday other than a painfully slow walk, barely 1km/hr. I was however feeling a bit better each day..

Thursday was spent at my sister’s hanging out at her pool & started working on a project she wanted to do this month. Got in a couple of short walks, minimally faster than the days before.

Saturday & Sunday we also spent working on the project with multiple pool breaks .. I did go out with friends on Saturday which was nice. Then I again went to soccer on Sunday – am I a glutton for punishment or what?

So now we are one week later, pain levels still jumping at a 4-6/10.. depending on the time of day.. Sunday afternoon I was at a 4.. Probably why I went to soccer.

Monday was about the same, pain-wise & still working on my sister’s project, but finally got a decent amount of work done on with this project.

to be continued…

Trifecta to Being Productive

July 8, 2022

I find there are three health benefits of being productive. I’m not necessarily talking about cleaning the whole house or an equally large activity. Even something smaller like getting X amount of laundry or dishes done. Something manageable but productive but nothing that is too much.

After getting something done & done well, I feel three things:

  1. More awake and alert
  2. More energetic
  3. Less pain

Additionally, I feel better about myself and accomplished as I’ve set a realistic goal & reached it.

Tattoos with Fibro

July 5, 2022

I’ve not had any tattoos prior to this year, so I don’t know what it’s like to have any ink done with a body that does not have pain. Honestly because I’ve been dealing with chronic pain issues since adolescent, I don’t think I could have even had the opportunity to do so.

I have 2 pieces done thus far. They are both rewards for my weight loss.

On my upper left arm, a little bigger than I was expecting, is my Scouter Koolaid tattoo I was given the name Koolaid by a patrol of scouts in my early 20s. So, basically is the scouting fleur-de-lis with the Koolaid guy super imposed on top. With the cub sign shown in his right hand.

This tattoo was actually quite painful. I had a hard time tolerating the pain. I was gritting my teeth the entire time but I persisted because I knew it was temporary pain and would eventually stop

On the top of the backside of my right shoulder, I have a butterfly. This butterfly is similar in style to a monarch butterfly but instead of the orange, black and white, mine is coloured inshades of purple and white. It is unique & really cool in that it is almost 3D in nature and you can see the shadow of it behind the butterfly. The text surrounding the butterfly reads “Fibromyalgia Awareness”.

This tattoo was significantly easier despite having more chronic pain issues in the area. For the majority of the work I was able to just sit and relax as he drew on the back of my shoulder. In fact, the upper lettering where I says “Fibromyalgia”, that actually tickled. Go figure There was one spot however that was a problem. Near the end of the work, the artist was adding white for highlights, he hit a flat mole on my back That sent a single big sharp jolt of pain through me. But that was the only pain I had from that one.

The artist, given that these two were my very first two and done right one after the other, he was not only surprised but suitably impressed that I only jumped that one single time. Apparently that is not the norm.

I do have one final one planned as my final reward for reaching & maintaining my goal weight. That one is going to be a collection of roses on my bum/ hip/ lower back in shades of bright pink & purple, maybe blue. The text to accompany that tat is “Neon Rose”, the online alias I have used since I was 16, so long long time ago.

When Lilly passes, I will be getting her paw print on me aswell in commemoration.

Chronic Illness is Exhausting, But Add in a Bug or Two

June 24, 2022

No matter what illness you have, it takes more out of you than the average person. Despite what the doctors say, there is some impairment to the immune system cuz you are always trying to deal with whatever disease or condition you have. When that illness includes chronic pain, it takes you right out.

This is something most people, even those who deal with someone in this position or who have an understanding of these conditions, don’t get.

I had someone generously share his bug with me late in January. Since it was one I’d not encountered before, it hit me like a ton of bricks. With an impaired immunity due to the FM  and CFS, not to mention the Endometriosis (which is considered to impair the immunity in some medical circles), I struggled with this. Now, with me also having IBS-D issues at the same time, it also didn’t help matters.   So I spent almost 2 weeks in bed.

People just don’t get how much worse this is for us.. For example, the aches and pains of a nasty cold, with existing aches and pain & things just get worse..

Of course, just as I was starting to feel better from bug #1, it get hit from the other direction with another bug. With an already impaired system from my medical conditions and an overly exhausted body from fighting the first bug, its no wonder I landed back in bed. Before you say I was still sick, I had different symptoms the second time around including a fever. And remember, I was still having IBS-D problems.

People still don’t get why I was exhausted at this point, sleeping 16- 20 hours a day. If I could heal and repair like normal people, in the same timeframe as normal people, I would be able to sleep less & maybe do some stuff around the house.

So finally, I started to get better from the second bug when *wham* I spend the night praying to the toilet god.. Do you know how much vomiting takes out of a body?

So most of that month was a write off for me. Honestly I’m not surprised.

So if you know someone with chronic health issues, especially multiple issues, don’t expect them to bounce back from regular colds & illnesses like healthy people.

Cub Camp – The Aftermath

June 17, 2022

So I did do cub camp I wasn’t feeling great, but I ended up doing it. The kids had a blast I’m still recovering.

So, as you can see, it was a very physical weekend. Both Jenn & Wendy are runners & Cecile is one of my other Cub leaders. And I out paced them all. I I am still recovering.

I am hurting I am reeling. I have been physically sick. I am exhausted. I am mentally unwell. I don’t know if I can do this again. I don’t even know if I can camp at all again.

I dont know if I want to.

How Is Fibro Reliable

June 3, 2022

The are only two reliable things about Fibromyalgia and chronic pain in general

  1. Our bodies are pretty much always in pain. All day, every day we are in pain to some extent. I don’t think I’ve had a pain-free day, other than heavily medicated, in at least 2 decades.
  2. Our bodies are reliably unreliable in regards to this disease. Consistently inconsistent.

Pain Levels Change

These change, frequently. They ebb & flow.. We can from a 2/10 one day, but the next a 5,/10, then a 3 then a 6,.. Even worse, they can shift hour by hour, especially when it bounces. Goes 5 to 6 to 5 to 6 to 5 to 4 and to screw me up, back up through 5 to 6 again.. Some of our pain is predictable by pattern like weather changes & over exertion, but not even necessarily then..

Now, jumping at lower levels like 1, 2, 3, or even 4 aren’t so bad.. but bouncing at the higher levels is alot harder on the body .

Duration Changes

The shifts in our pain levels can bounce from hour to hour.. They can be sustained for a period of time. Sometimes hours, days, even weeks.. I’ve even stayed steady at a 3 level pain level steady for months at a time. And I have seen no way to predict how long it will last I’ve had the same thing cause a shift and each time the shift (be it up or down) has lasted different lengths of time.

Frequency Changes

Our pain levels, as you can tell from comments above can last a different length of time each time. Sometimes minutes (but that’s usually an outside source!), Hours, days, weeks & as mentioned even months.

Triggers Change

I’ve noticed that sometimes I will get triggered by an activity one time, but not the next. On the reverse, something else that doesn’t normally trigger me will. Inconsistency. Shifts in the weather are a good example. We recently shifted to rain at the end of last week and I got hit hard for a bit, up to a 6, but slowly was able to manage it back down. But the inverse, the week prior we got hit with a similar shift to rain, but there was very little impact to my body.

Timing Changes.

When our pain will change is in no way predictable. Since childhood, I’ve had a tendancy to be better or healthier in the evenings. It’s to do with my circadian rhythms, I think but everyone has that Other than that, time of day has very little impact. There are days where I will suddenly wake in excruciating pain because of the pain. There are days where I will wake naturally & when I make that first move, Whammo! There are days when suddenly, mid-day, pain shoots up. There are days where I woke well and by the time dinner rolls around, I already want to curl up and ignore the world to deal with how bad I feel.

A Side Note – Third Consistency.

In writing this entry I keep noticing that the reference to changes emphasized to the increase. That’s probably because the increase is bad. But I also noticed that I’ve never had the thought, as I’m writing & editing about sharp drops in pain.

  1. Pain can rise quickly, but without intervention, it always drops slowly

MRI’s Suck

April 22, 2022

Last Thursday & Friday (yes, Good Friday) I had an MRI both mornings. And it was not good.

For those who are unfamiliar with MRI’s, the machine is basically a tube, looking kinda like a doughnut. It has a bed attached to slide the patient in. How you go in & how far in you go, varies depending on what the scan is for. Mine are for my brain so I go in head first, as far in as my elbows . Alternatively, you can go in feet first and I have found out that they have a smaller sleeve kind of version for arms.

My fibro was flaring something fierce and had been since the Sunday prior. I know the MRI machine dors jostle to adjust for the scans, but I’ve never felt like this! Every time the bed was adjusted it was a fast start & a fast stop immediately after. It was very jarring on the body. The fibro pain was excruciating! Add the pain in my left arm from the scar tissue breaking up from my RMT (more coming), and I was almost out for f my mind. And I couldn’t even move my arms because that could cause the scan to blur which could lead to to inconclusive results and a repeat scan.

Add to this situation my claustrophobia, a fear of small spaces. On Thursday, the only thing that has kept me sane and kept me somewhat still, was slow deep breaths through the entire time. Even through each and every shift in the bed. I’m not sure I was able to keep myself motionless sufficently for a clear enough image. On Friday, I was smarter and remembered to take the lorazepam I had so I could quiet my mind while in the machine. That helped keep me more calm and helped relax my muscles. This made my fibro chill out and actually helped decrease the pain. I also was smart and lay my arms in a more relaxed and comfortable position before going in. The movement of the bed adjusting was still very jarring on the body, but with the breathing I was able to cope better.

When I got home, I went straight to bed to catch up on sleep and the lorazepam was really starting to knocking me out.

Results are still pending.

Pain Is Up!

March 29, 2022

i had originally scheduled a different post with the same title.. One that should have posted in December, but some of it isn’t relevant anymore, and I’m in a different place, so I am changing it..

Why? Cuz for the first time in years my pain is at a 7/10.. Keep in mind, I picture 20/10 to be the equivalent of having my limbs cut off with a full chainsaw without the benefit of anesthesia or passing out from the pain.

Whats making it worse, is I had an epidural a few weeks back, so my lower back & my pain due to Osteoarthritis is pretty much non-existent. That means, I have fibro pain & *just* fibro pain at a 7/10. Normally when I hit a 7, it’s a combo of fibro & OA. When that happens, if I can dull out the OA pain, I can deal with the fibro.

Pain Scale 7-8/10
Pain Scale 7/10

So, its *all* fibro pain & last night I was almost in tears, even with extra (Double) muscle relaxers & narcotics – even a good chunk of alcohol. So there’s not much more that can be done for it, and *nothing* they will do in Emerg to help. They won’t given me any meds stronger than what I am on. Narcotics or a muscle relaxer.

When I do visit the ER, I typically get a toradol shot & a Xanax. Tonight that won’t do anything to help.

The only good thing is that I see my pain doc. Honestly, not sure my shots are even going to help I expect she’s going to recommend a lidocaine infusion, the one treatment I’ve not tried. I think I’m going to say yes this time.

Why so much pain?

Simple, if you read my previous post about CBD, you’ll know my GP thinks it’s my medical marijuana. So I’ve been off the MMJ since February 17th. While not as bad, I’m still nauseated and I am still throwing up. I’ve been on this medication for about 4 years now & it was a huge help getting me off fentanyl..

Due to the extreme bruising, he, my GP, also yanked me off the arthrotec, an anti-inflammatory, a few weeks before that. But I still bruising.. I have been on this medication for decades, since my mid 20s…

So I’ve lost two of my treatments that were helping my fibro, but do not seem to be resolving the problems I took to him.

As a result my pain has been slowly creaping up & I’m experiencing allodynia again. Basically, it is a sensitivity to touch. See next week’s post for more about this & how it’s been impacting me..

Endometriosis Awareness 2022

March 18, 2022

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month.

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month
March is Endometriosis Awareness Month

What is Endometriosis? In layman’s terms, it’s when the cells the are supposed to live in the uterus also live outside the uterus.

What does that mean? Well, it means those misplaced cells act like they would it they were in the right place. They have the menstrual cycle, but it’s on the bowel, on the outside of the fallopian tubes, uterus, ovaries, etc, on the rectum, on the bladder, on the kidneys, basically any of the organs in the abdomen. But not only that, these cell can migrate anywhere within the body. This includes more serious, but rate places like the heart, lungs, the spine, and the brain.

What does it feel like? It hurts!! Most women have a regular menstrual cycle. Some women have bad cramps and heavy bleeding..Us with Endo have horrible cramping, debilitating pain that last the duration of the cycle & for up to a week prior & after, and those cycles are irregular & erratic – some times lasting up to 2 weeks, sometimes with only a week, or days, in between. And remember, this happens in those cells that have meandered into the rest of the body, so not all the pain is necessarily in the lower abdomen

What else can happen? In addition to those fun issues already discussed there can be issued with infertility.. With tissues not being where they are supposed to be, the women’s reproductive system is turned into a war zone. And it can really f*”kin hurt to engage in sexual activity. Cuz the tissues are not where they are supposed to be, internal and things very easily get rubbed the wrong way. Add to that the common co-morbidity with Irritable bowel syndrome which in and of itself sucks.