Tattoos with Fibro

I’ve not had any tattoos prior to this year, so I don’t know what it’s like to have any ink done with a body that does not have pain. Honestly because I’ve been dealing with chronic pain issues since adolescent, I don’t think I could have even had the opportunity to do so.

I have 2 pieces done thus far. They are both rewards for my weight loss.

On my upper left arm, a little bigger than I was expecting, is my Scouter Koolaid tattoo I was given the name Koolaid by a patrol of scouts in my early 20s. So, basically is the scouting fleur-de-lis with the Koolaid guy super imposed on top. With the cub sign shown in his right hand.

This tattoo was actually quite painful. I had a hard time tolerating the pain. I was gritting my teeth the entire time but I persisted because I knew it was temporary pain and would eventually stop

On the top of the backside of my right shoulder, I have a butterfly. This butterfly is similar in style to a monarch butterfly but instead of the orange, black and white, mine is coloured inshades of purple and white. It is unique & really cool in that it is almost 3D in nature and you can see the shadow of it behind the butterfly. The text surrounding the butterfly reads “Fibromyalgia Awareness”.

This tattoo was significantly easier despite having more chronic pain issues in the area. For the majority of the work I was able to just sit and relax as he drew on the back of my shoulder. In fact, the upper lettering where I says “Fibromyalgia”, that actually tickled. Go figure There was one spot however that was a problem. Near the end of the work, the artist was adding white for highlights, he hit a flat mole on my back That sent a single big sharp jolt of pain through me. But that was the only pain I had from that one.

The artist, given that these two were my very first two and done right one after the other, he was not only surprised but suitably impressed that I only jumped that one single time. Apparently that is not the norm.

I do have one final one planned as my final reward for reaching & maintaining my goal weight. That one is going to be a collection of roses on my bum/ hip/ lower back in shades of bright pink & purple, maybe blue. The text to accompany that tat is “Neon Rose”, the online alias I have used since I was 16, so long long time ago.

When Lilly passes, I will be getting her paw print on me aswell in commemoration.

My Scouting

The Who When Where Why & How I Do Cub Scouts

At age 5 my Mom enrolled me in Brownies, then I went up to Guides. I did one year of Guides then quit cuz I didn’t like the program, wasn’t having fun & it conflicted with my dance class. 4 months later Mom puts me in another Company where I did enjoy the program.

But, during this time, my older brother went through the Boy Scout program. For meeting nights when Mom was working & I was not old enough to be left on my own, I got to be present at Cub & Scout meetings. . I remember the real wolf head that they had for the cub totem. I remember playing Barbie’s in the gym change room while Cub or Scout meetings were going on. Being a girl I wasn’t allowed to participate, but I do remember sitting &: watching different parts of the meetings. I remember tagging along to the rifle range (again not allowed to be alone at home), but I was not allowed to shoot because of my age, but probably my gender too cuz it was still “Boy Scouts”.

So I kept on in Girl Guides, earning my All-Around Cord. Up to Pathfinders I went. I was on track, or even ahead of schedule to earning my Canada Cord until my leader refused to accept the paperwork, from another Guider, confirm that I had organized & implemented by own full weekend camp. So I quit & went to the Guide shop and bought it for myself. My next year, I was a Junior Leader for the Brownie pack I grew up on.

The next year, I was hedging about what to do.. & was chatting with my friends Chris & Joann. I asked what they were up to that night. Jo said homework, but Chris said he had a Venturer meeting at Samac, shooting rifles. First words out of my mouth “Can I come?” Followed by “How much is registration?” I haven’t looked back.

I continued in Scouting as a youth to age 26. I started leadership at age 18 the took a break for post-secondary, returning back to the organization to my original group. I it was my Troop scouts who gave me the name Koolaid.. & that is a story in its own..

Over the years, I’ve worked with 2 colonies, 3 packs, 4 troops, 1 company & in a Service Scouter role.

In my younger days, I preferred, as you can tell, working at troop level.. Unfortunately, due to health I I ended up completely withdrawing from Scouting for a number of years as I worked through my health & my relationship. After 10 years, I left that relationship which helped my health. I wanted to return to scouting, but I knew I could not physically function at the level needed for Scouts. My nephew, a scout, wanted to be an SiT (Kim/Keeo) so he & I joined the colony.. 2 years later he wanted to go up to cubs, and I went with him. After 2 more years, he chose to continue his SiT at the troop level.. I stayed in Cubs for 2 reasons, he was old enough now that I didn’t need to be with him. And 2, I had found my niche

So, what do I get out of it? Besides free range time with the troop? Hehe.. Ok – Serious now. I like knowing I’m helping teach the new generation. I like working with this level – they don’t have that pre-teen attitude that fully blooms at 12-14.. I like being looked up to, knowing I mentoring some be in some small way. I like that I can walk through the mall & hear a voice say “Hey! Koolaid!” Knowing that he (or she) remembers me , shows I *am* having an impact on these kids.. I like the activities we do. Many are the same as scouts, just not as advanced. I like having something consistent in my schedule. I know I always have something scheduled on Tuesdays & Wednesdays from 6:45-8 .. I like hearing the kids laughing, getting along, learning together, competing against each other and just having fun! I like how it makes me feel as a person – this is the shallow one.

My years in Guiding topped out at 9 years, but that does not include the years I helped at guide & brownie camps for my Goddaughters. I was not officially registered for theses events.

My youth Scouting years topped out at 10 years. My leadership years are a little more clouded.. Scouts Canada’s records say I’m on year 20 & with my Rover years, that seems about right..

There are overlapping years of youth & leadership years which is why the number doesn’t seem to match up. So, all told I have 32 years (including this one) within these two organizations.. With many more to come!!

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Yes, I realize I missed the how.. How can I do this stuff with Fibro.. *that* is another post.

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Edit: Due lack of leadership availability, my Wednesday pack has closed and has merged in with my Tuesday pack.

Mask Fund-raiser

Face Mask Fundraiser For The 1st, 13th & 30th Oshawa Scouting Groups

These are some of the fabric patterns we have…On last check we had 70+ different ones

Will you help support these Oshawa Scouting groups, Beavers, Cubs, Scouts, Venturers & Rovers through our handmade cloth face mask fundraiser? We are raising funds for events, materials and activity expenses.

We have premium reusable 3-ply cloth face masks available for sale in both youth and adult sizes. The masks are available for $12 each for youth and $15 each for adult. Available for local pickup (Oshawa/Durham or possibly Scarborough) or can be mailed within Canada. Shipping and Handling is $2 for first mask and $1 for ea additional masks. 13th Oshawa Scouting will receive 50% of the sales.

• 100% cotton, double layered (high quality quilting cotton) PLUS Non-woven filtering centre layer.
• Style designed for improved breathability
• Elastic ear loops are adjustable for comfort and for better fit.
• Metal nose piece reduces eye glass fogging (all adult masks. This can be added at no charge to youth masks by request)
• Reusable, handmade, machine washable
• Additional fabric styles and sizes available.

**Custom sizes can be made for a small additional surcharge. Perfect for larger faces or those with beards.

Me, in my Purple Sparkles fabric from our masks both with – without my glasses on – No Fog!!

We have a Facebook Group with additional information including all fabrics.. We currently have just over 70.. with over 10 more fabric patterns on deck.

To purchase, e-transfers can be sent to 13thOshawaCubPack@gmail.com

I Am Grateful

I know my last post was not a hugely positive one. Unfortunately I just needed to vent about what I was seeing around me. But there are many many good things that I am grateful for and they are bigger and generally more important than the issues I discussed previously. . So today I want to tell you the things I am grateful for.

Family: After several years bouncing in and out of a toxic rekationship that estranged me from everyone, I left permanently after he was finally charged. Despite great trepidation and concersn from my family, they agreed to let me stay temporarily, expecting me to go back yet again. But with their support & others listed me below, I realized that I was hurting myself & them with my behaviour. I have since rebuilt my relationship with my parents, my sister & her family. I even have some semblance of a relationship with my brother.

Geeze.. I’ve only written one & I’m already in tears as I write this!

My Best Friend: I was absolutely horrible to this woman whom I have been friends with since high school . Because of the control my ex had over me, I was a complete and total bitch to her. My ex even contributed, I found out later, to the failure of her lucrative homer business. After she had a significant health scare, I was *allowed* to visit her. We slowly started to rebuild a relationship.. I even crashed on her couch for a few month during one of the times I left him. She was, I don’t think she realizes, had a significant impact on getting my head set forward. If this has not been re-established, I may not have let the police in or let the charges be filed. She was there for me when I needed her. It took about 4 years since we reconnected for her to again call me her best friend. She never realized how important that was for me to hear her say that. I am not sure she even knows now.

Man.. another doozy.. I’m sure that there’s gonna be edits cuz I can’t see through the tears. (& more years in the edit.)

Those who know us will get it.

Durham Family Services: Because of my income level, I was eligible to access the counseling services through the region (kinda like a county in the US) The woman I met, Fran, helped me through alot that first year I was back. I worked on my self esteem, learned some new coping skills and started to love myself again.

YMCA of GTA: This is actually my gym. I am grateful for my gym because I was able to get healthier and loose weight. I also has alot of social interaction there with people & started making friends

My Lilly: Yes, I did do a blog post about how she’s helped me, but I am still forever grateful for her. Whether she knows it or not.

Friends: Old and new. I’ve reconnected with alot of people in my past like in the post about three’s, but others as well.. Add in the new friends I’ve made since I’ve been back, plus the few I managed to keep from during my estrangement. While I may or may not maintain these friendships, or I could get something new from them remains to be seen, but just having a larger social circle is helping me. Which brings me to..

Scouting: I know most people wouldn’t get this, but before my relationship, I was an active Scouter. Now I was dwindling down on what I could do, but I did enjoy it. Flash 8-10 years later.. I’m back. And my eldest nephew wants to become a Junior leader)SIT with the Beavers. We (my sister & I) thought this would be a great way for me to reconnect with people & to build something with my nephew. . So I started as a “One hour a week” Scouter. Bringing my nephew every week… Now, with an awesome team of Scouters & friend (again, both old and new) I’m a major role in the Cub section (age 8-10).. I’m able to work with the youth, yet still be able to pace myself & no over do it.. much.. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to return to troop level and do that. Fortunately, I’m actually enjoying working with this age group.

International Symbol of Scouting.

My Medical Team: To the non-judgemental support from my current medical team, I am grateful. I am now on a positive Health Care Journey. With their help, I’ve managed to improve my health . I’ve lost weight, I’ve become more fit. I’ve come off alot of medications I really did not need, and supported me through addiction, tho no one knew at the time. I know I will never be healthy enough to return to work on much more than a casual part-time basis, but I am able to live a decent life despite fibromyalgia & my 6-bilkion other health issues.

This isn’t even going through the little things I’m grateful for.. The sun on my face, The lake at the cottage. Having a car to drive.. To have a regular income. To smell the flowers.. For being able to hug people (yes, only a special few right now). For privacy. For Fun. For freedom. For Love. For painting rocks. For exercise. For healthy outdoor spaces.. & you, still reading my post!!

I’m grateful for itvall.. & to those I can thank, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!