Posts Tagged ‘Better’

Am I Better Yet?

May 27, 2021

Better than what?

Am I better than yesterday? Or Last Week? Last Month? Last year? Maybe, but that is not what you are asking, is it?

You are wondering if I still have Fibromyalgia or CFS/ME, or one of the many other invisible illnesses like Lupus, or Crohn’s disease. The short answer is No.

There is currently no cure for these debilitation yet chronic medical conditions. While there are treatments that *can* improve one’s quality of life, they do not work the same with everyone.

Now some people who are familiar with these conditions will ask that but mean something different. They are asking how one is, wondering if today is a good day compared to the bad day from last week.

Are you Better?? The connotations of the word better are eliminated by using a word like improved.

My answer to the later question uses the word “improved” not “better”. It clears things up because of the lack of clarity & assumptions made when using the word “better”.

Improved vs Better

September 7, 2020

it’s interesting how terminology reflects how people perceive what you say. Using one word over another well meaning the same 2 Chainz how it is interpreted.

for example, if I was to tell somebody that I was feeling better. People who are not chronically ill take this to mean “all better” cut, as in completely healed, no longer sick. For then, being better from something like a cold means they are no longer sick. This is not the case for us with Chronic health conditions. “Better” could mean my pain levels are lower than yesterday or my fatigue has abated somewhat rh my fibro fog has cleared for the day.

because of this, I like to use the word improved. Well this means the exact same thing, people do not assume that I’ve been healed. They typically realize that there is an improvement to a point. Which is essentially what I’m trying to say. While I am still sick, and will remain so for the rest of my life, that day I feel improved, I am not feeling as bad as I was before for whatever reason

Try using the word Improved the next time you intend to use the word better for your health. See what different reaction you get.

About Fibro (Pt II)

June 30, 2020

This is a long read, but if you haven’t ever seen/read it, then it is most def worth the time. Because of it’s length, I’ve made it 2 posts. Fell free to use it for your own use if you so desire.

About Fibromyalgia

Being sick doesn’t mean I’m not still a human being. I have to spend most of my day in considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit I probably don’t seem like much fun to be with, but I’m still me stuck inside this body. I still worry about school and work and my family and friends, and most of the time I’d still like to hear you talk about yours too.
The difference between “happy” and “healthy”. When you’ve got the flu you probably feel miserable with it, but I’ve been sick for years. I can’t be miserable all the time, in fact I work hard at not being miserable. So if you’re talking to me and I sound happy, it means I’m happy. That’s all. It doesn’t mean that I’m not in a lot of pain, or extremely tired, or that I’m getting better, or any of those things. Please, don’t say, “Oh, you’re sounding better!”. I am not better, I am sounding happy. If you want to comment on that, you’re welcome.
Being able to stand up for ten minutes, doesn’t necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. And, just because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday doesn’t mean that I can do the same today. With a lot of diseases you’re either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one it gets more confusing.
Repeat the above paragraph substituting, “sitting”, “walking”, “thinking”, “being sociable” and so on … it applies to everything. That’s what FMS does to you. – Please understand that FMS is variable. It’s quite possible (for me, it’s common) that one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day I’ll have trouble getting to the kitchen. Please don’t attack me when I’m ill by saying, “But you did it before!”, if you want me to do something then ask if I can. In a similar vein, I may need to cancel an invitation at the last minute, if this happens please do not take it personally.
“Getting out and doing things” does not make me feel better, and can often make me seriously worse. Telling me that I need a treadmill, or that I just need to loose (or gain) weight, get this exercise machine, join this gym, try these classes… may frustrate me to tears, and is not correct… if I was capable of doing these things, don’t you know that I would? I am working with my doctor and physical therapist and am already doing the exercise and diet that I am suppose to do. Another statement that hurts is, “You just need to push yourself more, exercise harder…” Obviously FMS deals directly with muscles, and because our muscles don’t repair themselves the way your muscles do, this does far more damage than good and could result in recovery time in days or weeks or months from a single activity. Also, FMS may cause secondary depression (wouldn’t you get depressed if you were hurting and exhausted for years on end!?) but it is not created by depression.
If I say I have to sit down/lie down/take these pills now, that I do have to do it right now – it can’t be put off or forgotten just because I’m out for the day (or whatever). FMS does not forgive. – If you want to suggest a cure to me, don’t. It’s not because I don’t appreciate the thought, and it’s not because I don’t want to get well. It’s because I have had almost every single one of my friends suggest one at one point or another. At first I tried them all, but then I realized that I was using up so much energy trying things that I was making myself sicker, not better. If there was something that cured, or even helped, all people with FMS then we’d know about it. This is not a drug-company conspiracy, there is worldwide networking (both on and off the Internet) between people with FMS, if something worked we would KNOW.
If after reading that, you still want to suggest a cure, then do it, but don’t expect me to rush out and try it. I’ll take what you said and maybe discuss it with my doctor.

In many ways I depend on you – people who are not sick – I need you to visit me when I am too sick to go out… Sometimes I need you help me with the shopping, cooking or cleaning. I may need you to take me to the the doctor, or to the physical therapist. I need you on a different level too . You’re my link to the outside world… if you don’t come to visit me then I might not get to see you. … and, as much as it’s possible, I need you to understand me.