Posts Tagged ‘Dad’

I Am Grateful

August 25, 2020

I know my last post was not a hugely positive one. Unfortunately I just needed to vent about what I was seeing around me. But there are many many good things that I am grateful for and they are bigger and generally more important than the issues I discussed previously. . So today I want to tell you the things I am grateful for.

Family: After several years bouncing in and out of a toxic rekationship that estranged me from everyone, I left permanently after he was finally charged. Despite great trepidation and concersn from my family, they agreed to let me stay temporarily, expecting me to go back yet again. But with their support & others listed me below, I realized that I was hurting myself & them with my behaviour. I have since rebuilt my relationship with my parents, my sister & her family. I even have some semblance of a relationship with my brother.

Geeze.. I’ve only written one & I’m already in tears as I write this!

My Best Friend: I was absolutely horrible to this woman whom I have been friends with since high school . Because of the control my ex had over me, I was a complete and total bitch to her. My ex even contributed, I found out later, to the failure of her lucrative homer business. After she had a significant health scare, I was *allowed* to visit her. We slowly started to rebuild a relationship.. I even crashed on her couch for a few month during one of the times I left him. She was, I don’t think she realizes, had a significant impact on getting my head set forward. If this has not been re-established, I may not have let the police in or let the charges be filed. She was there for me when I needed her. It took about 4 years since we reconnected for her to again call me her best friend. She never realized how important that was for me to hear her say that. I am not sure she even knows now.

Man.. another doozy.. I’m sure that there’s gonna be edits cuz I can’t see through the tears. (& more years in the edit.)

Those who know us will get it.

Durham Family Services: Because of my income level, I was eligible to access the counseling services through the region (kinda like a county in the US) The woman I met, Fran, helped me through alot that first year I was back. I worked on my self esteem, learned some new coping skills and started to love myself again.

YMCA of GTA: This is actually my gym. I am grateful for my gym because I was able to get healthier and loose weight. I also has alot of social interaction there with people & started making friends

My Lilly: Yes, I did do a blog post about how she’s helped me, but I am still forever grateful for her. Whether she knows it or not.

Friends: Old and new. I’ve reconnected with alot of people in my past like in the post about three’s, but others as well.. Add in the new friends I’ve made since I’ve been back, plus the few I managed to keep from during my estrangement. While I may or may not maintain these friendships, or I could get something new from them remains to be seen, but just having a larger social circle is helping me. Which brings me to..

Scouting: I know most people wouldn’t get this, but before my relationship, I was an active Scouter. Now I was dwindling down on what I could do, but I did enjoy it. Flash 8-10 years later.. I’m back. And my eldest nephew wants to become a Junior leader)SIT with the Beavers. We (my sister & I) thought this would be a great way for me to reconnect with people & to build something with my nephew. . So I started as a “One hour a week” Scouter. Bringing my nephew every week… Now, with an awesome team of Scouters & friend (again, both old and new) I’m a major role in the Cub section (age 8-10).. I’m able to work with the youth, yet still be able to pace myself & no over do it.. much.. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to return to troop level and do that. Fortunately, I’m actually enjoying working with this age group.

International Symbol of Scouting.

My Medical Team: To the non-judgemental support from my current medical team, I am grateful. I am now on a positive Health Care Journey. With their help, I’ve managed to improve my health . I’ve lost weight, I’ve become more fit. I’ve come off alot of medications I really did not need, and supported me through addiction, tho no one knew at the time. I know I will never be healthy enough to return to work on much more than a casual part-time basis, but I am able to live a decent life despite fibromyalgia & my 6-bilkion other health issues.

This isn’t even going through the little things I’m grateful for.. The sun on my face, The lake at the cottage. Having a car to drive.. To have a regular income. To smell the flowers.. For being able to hug people (yes, only a special few right now). For privacy. For Fun. For freedom. For Love. For painting rocks. For exercise. For healthy outdoor spaces.. & you, still reading my post!!

I’m grateful for itvall.. & to those I can thank, I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Wearing A Mask Whilst Singing

July 14, 2020

Why wear a mask while singing?

There are lots of reasons for wearing a mask, but the biggest one is to not spread COVID-19. When you speak, you spew water droplet into the air.

It’s worse when you sing. When you sing the amount of moisture & water droplets increases significantly. I don’t have the numbers, but I can talk forever without my mouth going dry, no so much when I’m singing.

If you are talking in the car, you are spreading droplets & need to wipe down anyways.. so you might as well sing your heart out cuz anyone in your car in likely in your bubble. Just remember, singing water droplets go further, faster. You will have to wipe down more than your steering wheel. Make sure you sanitize the shell, but also the steering column, the dashboard & the panel above the dashboard. Even if you have not touched those spaces, they will be contaminated by your saliva.

At an average viral load of 7 √ó 106 per milliliter, we estimate that 1 min of loud speaking or singing generates at least 1,000 virion-containing droplet nuclei that remain airborne for more than 8 min. So this is not a good idea to be singing when people are around.

The other night, I broke that rule. I am used to driving in the car, but Dad was driving us in the van. On the way home from my brother’s we were listening to Dad’s country music – Not my typical choice. The last CD my Mom put in was Kenny Rogers – everyone knows Kenny So I’m singing “The Gambler” to myself.. and I sing the first verse & am shocked to no end when my Dad (who does *not* sing) starts to sing the chorus. Well we both sang the chorus, then I again sang the verse & the bridge & Dad joins in at each chorus. We are singing within 6 feet, let along the singing distance required of a minimum of 8 feet. He was less than 3 feet away.

Normally with COVID 19, you’d get in eternal trouble for that, but for 2 things, 1.I was in the car, no way to contaminate those outside the car. 2. My Mom and Dad are in my household so they are in my bubble. If my Dad had COVID, I would have gotten it anyways.

So, keep safe. Wash your hands. Wear a mask, cuz it’s legally required her in the Greater Toronto Area, especially when singing!!