With Fibromyalgia and other chronic pain you can’t always do everything you want, and we will always be limited in what we can do, but there is always something you can do instead – always an alternative.
While you may not be able to go to the amusement park with your friends/ family because the rides will hurt too much or because you can’t be on your feet all day or maybe it’s an all day thing that you can’t do or for whatever other reason, there are other things you can you. Maybe you can go mini-golfing with friends instead. Still a social activity, still something physical, still something fun and still hanging out with your friends. If that’s still outside of your wheelhouse, try just going out for a drink even just coffee to get out and be with those you love. If you are bedridden, why not a virtual chat?
You can apply this to all other aspects of your life. Certain things you can not do and may never be able to do again, but there are always things you can do.
I mentioned previous about losing my bff. It was not a death, but an abrupt severing of the relationship.
Recently another friend of mine mentioned that she had posted on her Facebook that she’d had another stroke & that her husband had performed CPR on her while he waited for the ambulance. Dunno the extent of truth in that, cuz she’s always been a bit of a drama queen. But she was definitely in the hospital & taken by ambulance.
Apparently she was home a few days later, so I suspect not quite as life threatening as she alluded to.
Either way, I was driving by her neighbourhood on my way to & from a doctor’s appointment, so I stopped off at Dollarama to get a simple Get Well Soon card. In it I wrote:
“I know we are no longer friends, but I wish you no ill will. I hope you finally get your health issues sorted out. I also hope that you get things resolved with Brett for the long term He’s a good guy. K”
I dropped off the card on my way home. The next days I am informed she has a new post “Whoever is talking about me behind my back, you are welcome to unfriend me.” I guess she didn’t appreciate the card.
The thing she doesn’t realize, if that’s “talking about her behind her back” people have been doing that for as long as I’ve known her.
Some of you may have noticed that some posts are no longer visible. In hindsight, probably not the best place to vent. So for those who missed it, here is my birthday weekend in a nutshell:
So.. here’s the way the rest of my cottage week went.
On Friday afternoon I will be heading to Catherine’s.. She invited me up with all the ladies who were in her bridal party, less Lindsay of course. The only reason I was not in her bridal party was cuz Rob would not even allow me to go to the wedding despite her last minute invite. – yrs, she told me that if I said I’d come, she would immediately promote me to bridesmaid.
Ok… So camping at her Cottage.. apparently I’m the only one able to tent it.. “eyeroll* Cath & Meagan are in her in law:s room. One girl’s in Cath & Brett’s room, one is on the pull out couch & one has refused to come.
She eanted a girl’s weekend & since Meagan leaves for Calgary, permanently next weekend, it had to be this weekend, my weekend
i sm not sure how this weekend will go.. I don’t know Natasha very well. I haven’t seen Nancy in about 20 years. I know Cath was a basket case when Li dsay left -;dunno what’ll happen with Meagan even tho Lindsay was her favourite. )Meag was her dad’s favourite, but he’s turned into a complete dickhead – doubt he’ll see her before she goes)
& its my birthday weekend.. so God only knows what’ll happen then.. last year I went to bed early when she wanted to do cake & pressies. Mind you I had a partner with me that weekend and he fell asleep at the campfire.. lol.
It’s interesting to note exactly how many friends I have, real, in-person, face-to-face local friends that I have with Fibromyalgia.
When I first started having symptoms in the mid-90s, I’d not heard of Fibromyalgia let alone know someone with this condition.
I only found out about fibromyalgia through, unfortunately, Dr Google. Few doctors had even heard of it then. Many did not believe it existed. Few had any idea how to treat it..
Jump ahead a few years..
First person who was a friend of mine is Billy Jo. Her and I met in a mental health workshop in my local hospital. We met because of mental health & connected over of common physical health. We have been friend for.. 8-9 years now…
My BFF was also diagnosed with fibro about 7 years ago. Due to an abusive relationship I was estranged from her while she went through her diagnosis. However, because she knew of my struggles and issues I’ve had getting diagnosed & treated, she had a good idea of what the process was & how to get it sped up.. my diagnosis took 13 years.. Hers only took 3-4 years.
I had left the aforementioned relationship approximately 5½ years ago. This was just in time for my high school reunion.. One of the people I reconnected with another girl named Jo.. While we were not friends in high school we did know each other and we have to come friends in the here and now. I think part of the reason why we connected so well was because I understood and she did not have many other friends let alone ones who got & understood the issues with Fibromyalgia.
Shortly after that reunion I connected with a lady in Newcastle who is my twin. No, we look nothing alike however there are so many other similarities. We were born within two weeks of each other, we both went to the same high school, we have almost the exact same list of medical conditions including Fibro, we react well to the same medications as well as an overlap in personal interests beyond our health. So we met about 2 years ago, shortly before covid and we’ve connected over these similarities, but also over our differences.
Growing up, the neighborhood kids down at the end of the street were friends.. The oldest had a big gap between herself and her younger siblings so she hung out more with my older brother, his friends and some of my friends as she was a few years older than me but many years older than her siblings. After I moved back to Oshawa we eventually started connecting again a few years back. She also has Fibromyalgia.
Its interesting how many people have fibro that you may not even know about..
With apologies to Paul Simon, there must be… 24 ways to ease your living.
Why 24? Why not? It’s a start! That people have to go online and type the words “How to relax” into a search engine should be indication enough that modern life may be getting too stressful. Why, with all the innovations and timesavers, do we feel more and more rushed?
Time is a constant – it always remains the same. What changes are our expectations of how much we can accomplish in that same old time. It’s scientifically proven that stress can lead to sickness and that relaxation is one of the things that can soothe the savage beast.
Hopefully everyone has at least one favourite way to wind down, because not every stress soother will suit every single person. Next time you feel tense and uptight, try out one of these ways to relax. Perhaps some will work for you, while others might inspire you to write your own list of ease-up ideas.
Dance.
Mono-task, as opposed to multitasking.
Progressively tense each muscle, holding each for 5 seconds then releasing.
Stretch.
Go for a walk.
Play a game. Sudoku, crosswords, hopscotch, whatever.
Soak in a bath.
Laugh.
Turn off your electronics. Enjoy the quiet.
Read.
Take a 5-minute break to clear your mind and breathe.
Cover your eyes with an eye pillow. Allow your anxious eyeballs to feel like they’re floating rather than gripping.
Play with your pet.
Drink a cup of hot tea. Or iced if that makes you feel better!
Take a whiff of a favourite soothing scent, maybe citrus or lavender.
Clean out the drawers of your dresser. De-cluttered can equal destressed.
Soak your feet in Epsom salts.
Listen to your favourite music.
Light a candle and watch the flame flicker.
Write in a diary.
Talk to a friend.
Make everyday activities more meditative. Like walking, for instance. Rather than rush down the hallway, place one foot in front of the other and really feel your feet ground into the earth with each step.
Unplug (or turn off) your phone.
Strive to take deep breaths to reach the tight spaces of your body – try to feel your breathing in your lower back and your shoulders
Fibromyalgia 
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