A well written article from CNN about how depression, a medical condition, impacts the lives and deaths of people struggling with it. PLEASE READ.
Some particular statements I found poignant:
“Just because you can’t see it inside someone, doesn’t mean the pain they are experiencing isn’t real or overwhelming.”
“With cancer, you see people you love deteriorating on the outside. When someone struggles with mental health issues, you often don’t see it.”
“There’s a big difference between wanting to end your pain and wanting to end your life. But some of those who struggle with mental illness may not be able to see the difference.”
“Stop assuming you know what someone else’s life is like, or what it’s like to live in their head. You have no idea what somebody else’s life is like. And neither do I. You have no idea what pain or trauma a huge smile may be hiding.”
If someone has depression or even occasional suicidal ideologies, offering support instead of criticism is always the best way to go. You do not, can not, know how much someone is struggling with their demons. As Ellen says, “Be kind.”
Those who I know who should read this the most won’t even bother. They will consider themselves better even when they have struggled with their demons.
So I have been waiting quite some time for counseling services in my area. Almost 2 weeks ago I called Durham Family services to inquire as to my position on the waitlist. I received a call last Monday from Jason and the intake of Durham Family Services. But apparently there was a bit of a miscommunication. He wasn’t calling to let me know where I stood on the waitlist as per my request, he called to let me know I was at the top of the wait list and to get me set up with counseling.
Yay!
Finally getting a councillor with DFS!
So he was going to set me up with a counselor and I mentioned I would appreciate seeing the counselor I saw a previously. Unfortunately she had a full case load and to add to her caseload they have to get consent specifically from her. Unfortunately she was on vacation all last week so they couldn’t reach her until early this week.
I was called on Wednesday and was advised that the counselor I wanted to see had agreed to add me to her caseload..
Yay!
So, after 13 months of waiting I now have my first appointment set up for late January – only 14 months after first requesting counseling. Oi.
Better late than never
I’m just glad I have an appointment scheduled and it’s with a counselor that I’ve already built a connection with..
Then I have to wait for Catholic Family Services and Carea.. Hopefully they are timed to fit from one to the next to the next! I’d like to get my issues completely dealt with.
After the worst August on record for me & a severely crappy September, I think I’ve passed the worst. I’m not saying I’m all good, but when ppl ask how I’m doing, it’s gone from Meh to I’m ok.. & occassional “good”..
I’m even dealing with stupid people better.. Well not stupid people, but.. well yeah, some are stupid, but one isn’t. He’s just acting stupid &:immature.
Originally written for the 25th Anniversary with 25 facts,, this is a list of things you should know, from someone with Fibromyalgia. From someone who experiences it, not just studies it. I have taken the original, modified it and added to it from *my* perspective as my experiences with fibro are not the same as hers. OP info available at the bottom.
Every morning is a tough morning.
I can sleep all day and still feel like I just ran a marathon.
If I went out last night, I need a day or two or three to recover — its okay, it was worth it.
When i’m tired, let me sleep.
Certain foods make me flare up, For me that’s items like Ice cream breaded food products (like fish sticks or chicken fingers), mayo & salad dressing, KD, etc.. Some I know why, others no clue.
When I’m in a flare, leave me alone in a dark room but please check in, even if I don’t answer. It makes me feel cared for & loved .If I am flaring and I am responding, I’m likely asking for a ride to the ER.
Yes, diet matters, but in flare mode, all bets are off.
Yes, my face is swollen. No, I didn’t gain 5 pounds overnight… Well I could have gained, but not on my face.. So, Yes, that is a tell that I am in a flare.
I have many different sizes of clothes in my closet to accommodate flare vs. non-flare days. I currently have clothing from a medium ( very generous medium) to 3x.. I’ve lost weight, so likely only a few items & eventually they will go too.
Fibro Fog sucks. Ya know when you get absent-minded every once in a while? Misplaced your keys? Misread something? Forgot to water the plants? That’s Brain or Fibro Fog. While it happens to everyone at some point, it not the norm. For people with Fibromyalgia this is the norm. Every day. I have even lost my train of thought, mid-sentance. It happens enough that those close to me don’t bat an eyelash when it happens. Some even see it happening & will remind me of what I was saying. The worst, is fogging out when I drive & I love to drive, but have to be super careful to make sure I am clear minded.
Ask before you touch. Some days, I can barely tolerate the feel of clothing or even my hair on my skin. When I’m ok, give gentle hugs please — my skin & muscles may still be tender. But if I give you a bear hug, you can give me one back!
Bright lights, loud noise and too many smells can overload the senses and can cause nauseous (or worse) or kick in a migraine.
Allergies play havoc on my body. Scented products like perfumes & body products are typical culprits Sometimes I don’t even know I’m allergic until I experience it, So it’s a bit of Russian Roulette when I go into public because I can’t control what scents other people wear. Food allergies/sensitivities do not make life any easier either, especially when eating out.
I am a human barometer ( there’s a post around about that.. I can typically tell it’s gonna be too cold, too wet, too hot.
Yes, i am on medications, sometimes even alot of them. I have a decent relationship with the pharmacy staff, and I know exactly what all my medications are, the dosage, and why I’m on it & how it helps.
To me, car rides are joy rides cuz I really love to drive. I need to stop every hour or two to keep my legs from going numb or seizing up. It, for me, is so worth it! But so many with fibro feel differently than I do & equate it to a highly painful roller coaster ride.
Some days it’s OK to let my Fibro win. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
I can get moody. You would be too if you were in pain all the time, be patient with me.
Don’t be surprised if I can tell your mood as soon you walk in the room. My Fibro/spidey-senses are tingling.
My day, week and month are carefully planned to accommodate my Fibro. Only important events & people like you are scheduled.
If I cancel my plans with you, don’t be mad.. Remember, I made plans with you, because you are important to me. I am trying and obviously want to hang out with you, so please keep any nasty commentator yourself as I already feel guilty.
Your friend with Fibro that says they have no pain doesn’t make me feel any better. Plus if they have no pain, they may not have fibro cuz *all* Fibromites have *some* level of pain at *all* times Alternatively they could simply lying either about having fibro or about being totally pain-free. Also, just cuz someone says they are “Good” that’s does not mean pain-free
“You should exercise.” ROTFLMAO. Have you considered going to the gym while you are in the middle of the flu with body-wide aches & pain, fatigue? Didn’t think so, so how can you expect me to when I have body-wide aches & pain and fatigue? Yes, I do exercise, but I’m not a hypocrite. Do you know how long it took from me to go from bobbing in the water during aquafit to get to my current level of exercise? Years!! It helps, that I have lost weight. Before you use me as an example of of someone with fibro who is ‘fit’, remember that I started my journey to become healthier & to increase my fitness level in the winter of 2012, almost 9 years ago. And I would not consider myself ‘fit’
Going to the doctor makes me sad & sometimes overwhelmed— it’s a reminder of my condition. And it doesn’t help that I have at minimum a half dozen medical appointments each month – GP, Pain Doc, RMT, Physio/Osteo therapy, Gyn, Neuro, Dental, Psych, mental health support groups, and one offs for tests like bloodwork, ultrasound, x-ray, MRI or CT.
There are zero no-pain days, but my low-pain days are my happy days. So if I’m looking good and acting good and I’m social, I’m better, right? No, just a good *low* pain day. Fibromyalgia is chronic & will not go away
Because of Fibro, the mandated downtime gives me the opportunity to write this blog, and I’m grateful. Unfortunately, some of that downtime does not even permit blog writing because the pain or fatigue is*too* intense, so I have missed posts.
Because of Fibro, some Fibromites get to spend more time with their families than if they were healthy.
if i am being a dick about my health, you will not change my mind. I have to figure it out myself. For those in my life who put up with that for years, I am sorry.
Because of Fibro, I’ve become part of a strong, supportive community that reminds me I’m never alone.
Yes, I have depression. No, it’s not because of my fibro. My depression started at age 16, but fibro, we believe, started from Mono when I was 19-20. So, obvs they started at different times plus I do know the triggering event that started my depression.
On Bell Let’s Talk Day, Canadians and people around the world joined in to help create positive change for people living with mental health issues. Thanks to your actions, Bell will donate more to Canadian mental health initiatives.
With 159,173,435 interactions, Bell Canada with donate $7,958,671.75 to Mental Health initiatives across Canada!!
My sleep schedule is screwed up again, not a surprise. So my intention was to get up early, relatively speaking, today.. That did not happen.
When my alarm went off yesterday, I kept hitting snooze and hitting snooze and hitting snooze. My brain didn’t want to get up yet.
So when I finally did get coherent, I really did not want to get out of bed. I don’t feel like I’m in the mental space to do much. So I canceled all my plans for today which included pickups for items for my Cubs, a run around the dog park with my pup and a visit to a friend.. all I’ve done today is let my dog out and go to the bathroom.. I still need to grab a bite to eat though and that will be something quick and dirty.
But it’s okay. Some days it’s just hard mentally, emotionally. Some days it’s just more difficult to cope. And for me yesterday it was one of those days.
it’s OK to not be OK.
Just recognize it for what it is and be aware. If it’s just a one-off like mine tend to be, you could just bounce back and be yourself tomorrow. Sometimes it takes a while.. couple of days.. a week to get out of the funk. If it goes more than a week though, consider talking to someone. Even just virtually, it can help..
Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it , everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.
People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.
Personal note: I’ve been there where it doesn’t seem like it’s worth it, even tried several times over the years… I’ve been in those shoes, so I have an idea of what’s going on in the head.. it may not seem it right now, but you are loved and if you need someone to talk to I’m here..
Many of us have mental health issues in addition to FM, ME & CFS, so I thought it important to remind everyone that Wednesday is Bell Canada’s Let’s Talk campaign & we can help.. here are the rules/guidelines
A few mentions to remember on January 25th … For #BellLetsTalk
Will start midnight Newfoundland time (NST) or 10:30pm EST on January 24th and end midnight PST or 3am EST on January 26th
As long as you are a Bell or Bell Alliance customer, any call .. landline and mobile … text messages count for the 5¢
Use either English or French or both hashtags #BellLetsTalk and/or #BellCause
SnapChat filter for #BellLetsTalk is on available on January 25th, every time the filter is used it counts for the 5¢
Instagram, be sure to include #BellLetsTalk in all descriptions counts for the 5¢
Twitter, if you’re involved in conversation and are replying, be sure to include #BellLetsTalk
Facebook, Bell will have a video on the https://www.facebook.com/BellLetsTalk .. pinned at the top of their page … video views are what counts for the 5¢ … the more shares the better 🙂
** just a reminder, this is a Healthy Minds Canada campaign in support of #BellLetsTalk
IF ANYONE HAS ANY QUESTIONS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!! 🙂
Fibromyalgia 
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