Addiction or Dependance?

My SO is always concerned about the potentially addictive medications I am on.. I try and assure him that, while dependant, I am not addicted.. He doesn’t see the difference.. Unfortunately, when I am tired or just generically foggy I find it hard to explain.. Medical Dependance is a body’s need, a requirement to be healthy.. For example, an Insulin-dependant Diabetic is exactly that, dependant. The insulin helps the body function properly with the problematic pancreas. For us with chronic pain, for whatever reason, we take the medication to function properly with the problems that each cause us pain. Yes, if we stop taking our meds, we do into withdrawal; it’s a chemical dependace, so of course we do. Should a diabetic stop taking insulin, would they not go into a withdrawal? Absolutely; sugar levels will start to rise, and the body’s functionality drops. Addiction is very different. Addition is filling a mental and emotional need to feel that high, and rarely a medical necessity. This is NOT why we take the medications we are prescribed.. We don’t want the high, we just want to feel less pain.. Less pain does not a high make.
Now, I admit that there are persons who take prescription medications to the excess, to go beyond the need to feel less pain, to the pain where there is no pain and they get that high, or continue prescription medications long after a temporary need has been resolved, again to get that high. These people are addicted. Just because you are dependant does not mean you are addicted.
Just because you are addicted does not make you medically dependant.

 

Pain

I hate being it pain! I can’t stand that I feel ‘fine’ when I wake in the early morning to take my meds, then later I am in more pains. It’s scary that when I lay here and I can feel the pain creeping down my body until every muscle hurts, even if it’s not horrible bad. It’s just as bad, if not worse than a localized flare with a higher pain level. When it’s localized, at least there are some movements that don’t yell at me. But when it feels like every muscle from top to bottom is hurting, nothing can be done without some sort of retaliation from my body. And when the pain meds don’t help, what can I do? Today I’ve already maxed out (& then some) on my narcotics, as well as my muscle relaxer.. Why does God have to play such a cruel game? To quote Depeche Mode, “I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours, but I think that God’s got a sick sense of humour.”

 

Now, consider how this also impacts my SO, when the relationship isn’t as strong as it should be. It frustrates, him, me, and all those around us.

Pray for me?