Posts Tagged ‘partner’

He doesn’t get it

August 23, 2012
Today, or rather the wee hours of the morning of today, he Didn’t get it.

So, we get in from a walk with my puppy, & I do our bedtime routine.. I crawl into bed, and at about 1:30am- 2am … my leggs seize! From hip to the very last muscle at the very bottom on my feet.. Not a charlie horse where it cramps but everything, both leggs, seized up.. Normally it’s just one legg & it’s not hugely nasty like this.. But it was hugely nasty in both limbs.. They’re like charlie horses in that I have to gain control over the muscles however a charlie horse requires a short, but hugely nasty controlled clenching almost like creating a controlled, but more intense spasm then its over. But not with this. It doesn’t need as much force, but it does require a nice chunk of time in the clenched state, significantly more time. Unfortunately that means a longer duration of pain.. But I can handle that.

All I could think was ‘Thank God I am in bed’..

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A little later at about 3am, the dog goes nuts cuz she’s gotta go bathroom.. One of us needs to take her out or she goes in the apartment. But he’s too tired, has “no energy”. Even after I explain what happened, he still expects me to go.. So almost 15 minutes to dress into jammie pants & a tee beside me that I have for when I need to take puppy out at night. And another 45 min to walk from the back-side to the front door. An hour to do a 5 minute potty break.

You’d think knowing how much knowing my pain can impact me.. and the intense fatigue to goes along with it that he’d be more understanding.. So, today I you’d think he’d have more understanding & empathy.. Nope, this time he Don’t get it. *sigh*

When It Rains, It Pours

January 7, 2012
Why is it that when one person has a health issue, it seems like a dozen other people is your circle also have health issues? We’re been up to our necks in it lately..

It started with me on Christmas morning and my fibromyalgia pain getting the best of me (see here: http://bit.ly/AsUG8Q)..

Then 2-3 days later SO’s Best Friend’s SiL, who he is friends with, doesn’t wake up.. She had a brain aneurysm, went to a Thunder Bay hospital and was air lifted to Hamilton & a neurologist was brought in from Toronto to do the appropriate brain surgery.. Fortunately, surgery went well & she is doing well, all things considered. She still has a lot of recovery time ahead, but she is improving daily..
Then Thursday morning, my Granma (my Dad’s mum) is taken to Emerg in Toronto with GI & internal bleeding issues and was finally admitted to a room late Thursday.. They are still running tests, trying to figure out what’s wrong, what’s helping, what’s not.. She’s stable now and I think they are getting a handle on it..

Now, this afternoon, my sister calls.. My parents are still in St Martin in the Dominican Republic.. Apparently Mom blacked out after dinner last night, and fell face first onto the cement sidewalk.. So, she’s got one nasty looking face & her nose has been slightly mangled which they won’t treat down there .. I’m more concerned about why she blacked out, than the result of the fall.. Lucky her has been having her own GI issues this week & she’s got blood pressure issues… She has not been cleared medically to fly, but we don’t know why.. Unfortunately info on her condition is filtered from my parents to my brother who is also down there to my sister here in Ontario before it comes to me, so what info I get is watered down..

So, needless to say there’s been a lot going on.. If the rule of 3’s applies, we got two more issues coming, cuz we’ve got four now! All I can really do is pray & hope of the best.. I’d very much appreciate if you could include me, Catherine, Audrey & Judy in your prayers as well..

It’s not real.. Not for me apparently. :(

June 19, 2009

What would you do? How would you react? If you got told by the person that has been your primary support person for the last 3 + years.. That he/she doesn’t believe you’re sick? Doesn’t believe you’re really *that* tired? Doesn’t believe you’re in *that* much pain? And thinks it’s all in your head.

I was told the other day by the person who I look to most for help & support with my fms & everything else, exactly that. He doesn’t believe me. He thinks I’m either making it up & have fooled all the doctors and specialists, Or it’s all in my head. He said he’s never really believed me since he met me.. He thinks I’ve been lying to the world this whole time, that I have been putting myself through test after test after test, several invasive just to play sick? He thinks I’m a leach on the government rolls because I get disability (and we all know how easy that is to get). That it’s my self esteem that’s screwing me up. He’s thinks that I’ve got nothing of value.. Nothing to offer.. I’m nothing of value.. *sigh*

How much more of a stab in the heart is that?? How much more hurtful can one person be??

I’ve considered the option of leaving before, but not all that serious.. But now,. yes I am giving it serious thought. How can I stay here with this person who I should be looking to for help, but who does not really believe what I am going through is real. I have thought on & off that sometimes he doesn’t get it – but that makes me wonder if he even understand, let alone cares about me at all. It’s heart wrenching.