What Does a Disability Look Like?

According to the World Health Organization, disability has three components:

1. Impairment in a person’s body structure or function, either physical or mental. Examples include loss of a limb, loss of vision or memory loss.
2. Activity limitation, such as difficulty seeing, hearing, walking, or problem solving.
3. Participation restrictions to normal daily activities. Examples include working, and engaging in social & recreational activities,

So as you can see, not all persons with disability have necessarily have a physical component. Additionally, there are medical conditions and disabilities that are not visible including diabetes, lupus & fibromyalgia.

I’m a good example of that in that I have fibromyalgia and other issues but I don’t use a cane at the moment. As a result, I don’t look like I have an impairment . Pain is invisible so they don’t know and cannot tell that my pain level is a 1/10 (I know, very funny) or 8/10 today.

Online Dating Profiles – Tips for Guys

I know.. it’s got nothing to do with fibro, or health, but it’s my blog so I can pick the occasional off topic.

So.. Tips for Guys in their online dating profiles… I think unless you are in a hardcore fetish site or a site exclusively for hookups only, I think these suggestions might help you get a better response from the ladies.. or laddie’s, if you swing that way…

Have a Good Profile picture:

• Picture of you, your face, not your dog, your bike, your fish, your boat or your genitalia.
• Smile!!! Unless you a totally serious person.. Have at least one photo of you with an honest smile on your face.
• Make sure you are the focal point of the picture. The point is to see you, not the statue or whatnot you are standing beside. & Loose the mask so we can see your face & also be cognizant of the light and shadows they cast
• Picture of only you, no other people. You can put picture of you with your kid(s), your family, your friends elsewhere in your profile, just not the main one
• No pictures with blanked out faces. Just crop the other person out, or use a different picture
• Make sure it’s in focus and check the lighting to make sure your face can be seen.
• Keep the background simple, unless it is highly relevant to you. & No taking your pictures in the damn car – be original! Try to blur out any busy backgrounds if you can
• Don’t add any filters to your image..Don’t need to bling it up
• Keep your images current, especially if your look changes..
• Do not use memes as your first few images,
• Don’t use the picture from work, be it an ID badge, business card or a professional marketing materials. Most of these are too posed & too stiff to represent you well in this medium.. & for ID badges, nthose are not typically a complimentary picture
• Brush your hair, put on something nice if you are going to take a selfie & taking from straight on or better slightly above, but not beliw
• Dont use an Avatar for your user image, and doing be someone that’s not you, esp a celeb.. If you are not Shemar Moore’s twin, don’t use his picture.
• Include multiple pictures.. The second & third & fourth can include your kids or your dog.. but skip the one where your sister is giving you a high – first question is always – Who is she? His wife?.
• Do not use the same picture more than once
• Only use a “dick pic” if you are on a hookup site & that’s what you are looking for.

Add actual profile content.. it does not have to be long only 3-4 sentences to start… And you can add more later.

• Write *Something* Don’t just leave it blank
• Describe what you a looking for be it a hookup, a fwb, a dating partner or something long-term & permanent..
• Describe what you’re looking for in someone. Be upfront. If you don’t like Asian Women, say so. If you don’t like Smokers, say so. If you want someone 420 friendly then say so.
• Tell us about you – character traits & descriptive words that might help: Funny, sarcastic, confident, laid-back, determined, passionate, ambitious, kind, outgoing, shy, outdoorsy, homebody, animal lover, thrifty, open-minded, politically savvy, honest, honourable, adaptable, Raptors fan, imaginative, creative, spontaneous, happy, friendly, movie liver, compassionate, loyal, humble, meticulous, picky, assertive, sports enthusiast, reliable, sociable, enthusiastic, meticulous, generous, curious, clean, tidy, healthy, charming, brilliant, courageous, artistic, dramatic, playful, creative, principled, honourable, organized, scatterbrained, disciplined, affectionate, faithful, private, extreme, unique, sincere, reserved & shy vs affable & gregarious, talkative or quiet, adventurous, hardworking, Liberal vs Conservative vs Socialist, strong-willed, respectful, blunt, democratic, self-sufficient, wise, smart, sexy, vain, modern VA old fashioned, physical, hedonistic, money-driven, delicate, opinionated, predatory, zany, sassy …That’s a good list to help you out
• Answer some of the questions different sites ask.. “What can you cook? What TV shows do you watch?
• Be clear & concise. Be aware of spelling, punctuation & grammar..
• The more you complete of your profile, generally also means the more accurate your matches are..

Do not have multiple profiles.. I’ve come across the same guy in 3 different profiles.. I blocked all.three cuz he’s not a twin or a ltriple.

Any other suggestions? For guys, or ideas for gals aswell – I could always new tips!

My Acceptance

My biggest issue with my medical issues is me. I have so much trouble accepting my limitations. I am still trying to figure out how much I can and can not do. It’s more the can not that is my issue. I used to be way more than I am now. I used to be intelligent; Once upon a time I had an IQ of about 180 which is the beginning of genius. I’m not meaning to brag, just illustrate how much I’ve gone down hill.. I’m now at 130-140, which is considered average (to my knowledge).. That’s a *huge* drop, but it’s all from the fibro.

I used to be physical. I played soccer in a ladies league (the term ‘ladies’ here is used loosely) with 2-3 games a week and I played an aggressive & physical game. I was also involved in scouting, as a youth member, as a adult member, as a leader, as a group or area representative. As a result, I was very physical – hiking, camping, marksmanship, skiing, skating, all in different types of weather. & yes, I have camped outdoors in the cold weather and the snow. I can not do any of that. It’s not struggling with just those losses, but also the loss of the ability to function doing ‘normal’ day-to-day stuff like laundry, cleaning floors, vacuuming, washing walls or windows, and cleaning the bathroom.. Or even worse, I flare after being around my nieces & my nephew.. Moreso my nephew cuz he’s more physical, still into aggressive roughhousing. (Çuz he doesn’t get a lot from Dad – long story, not really Dad’s fault) I should be able to spend time with my family without getting sick. I just don’t know how to. Any suggestions on how to deal with this issue and help me accept my limitations? Feedback would be greatly appreciated. ~ Thanks.

What do I do?

For my fibromyalgia, I currently take the following Medications/supplements

• Multi-vitamin – Naturapathy Dr does not recommend Centrum or most pharmacy brand multi’s
• Calcium & Magnesium with vitamin D – Calcium cuz Women with Endo are more susceptible to Osteoporosis. Mg & D to help absorb the Calcium. The Magnesium also to help with muscle spasms & charlie horses. I have found that it has helped.
• Fish oils – Generic fish oils, minimum 1000mg a day .. Well, I try to. Naturapathy Dr recommended 1000mg-3000mg daily of the EPA+DHA to help with mental acuity. I’m still waiting for the fog to lift, but I’m not usually getting enough to impact because I fog up & forget.. Lovely catch 22 there.
• B complex to help with stress and ensure that I get enough B’s. No, I don’t take a stress formula. Just a normal B complex.. either 50mg or 100mg
• Codeine Contin for maintenance pain.
• Tylenol #3 for breakthrough pain
• Oxycodone for severe breakthrough pain
• Flexeril (Cyclobenzaprine) as a muscle relaxer. I find it better than anything OTC..
• Probiotics to help regulate my digestive track – it works, ‘cept when I have an IBS flare or food sensitivity
• NSAID, but it’s for my Endometriosis, so I don’t really know if it does impact my FMS or not.

For my fibromyalgia, I currently participate in the following exercise:

• Aqua-fit, really carefully – I’m just getting back into exercise, so I am trying to get to the gentle classes. My local YMCA gym has a class or arthritics and for osteoporosis. Aqua-fit is a good choice because of the buoyancy of the water, it doesn’t impact my knees, and it’s a gentle cardio
• Seriously, right now that’s it. I need access to a hot tub to do further exercise to keep my body warm.

For my fibromyalgia, I intend to return to the following exercises:

• Yoga with the hot tub – Yoga provides gentle stretching while working on core strength and balance. The hot tub helps to keep muscles relaxed afterward.
• Keeping up with Aqua-fit – see above 🙂
• Walking the track to music with the hot tub – I got into walking when my nieces were born, walking with my sister. After I joined the Y and my nephew was born, I would take him in his stroller to walk him around the track. He’s too old now, but I have found it enjoyable with my MP3 player (or CD player back then). I sometimes dance a little bit and my pace changes with the music I’m listening to. It’s hard to overexert myself. 🙂 The hot tub helps to keep muscles relaxed afterward.

A benefit from the exercise is that I tend to be tired out afterward and relaxed. This makes evening workouts ideal in that I go home, go straight to bed and will sleep well, with a decent amount of healing rest. This improves me, physically, emotionally and mentally for the next day.

For my fibromyalgia. my spiritual side is limited. I don’t go to church often, however I do find solace in my home church’s sanctuary. I’ve moved away from my home church and have yet to try out the sanctuary here. I also find the same ‘state of grace’ from music, especially my churchy music 🙂

For my fibromyalgia, because of my physical limitation, I am limited socially. Most of my social interaction is via the internet on Twitter, Facebook, Email, etc.. The alternative to that in real life is with my SO and his friends. Most of my friends no longer talk to me, or are too far away for more than email. The classes as the Y present a new socialization source, which I hope to be helpful. With the improvement of my health I would like to return to scouting in some sort of part-time or limited capacity.

For my fibromyalgia and my cognitive abilities, I am starting this blog. It will help keep me thinking and requires research. It also provides a creative outlet. I also enjoy doing word searches and have, on recommendation on my therapist, started to colour and have other crafts options available to me.

For my fibromyalgia and an emotional aspect, I have a councilor and have been placed on anti-depressants. While my time with her is limited I do find that I feel better after I speak with her. Additionally I have the support with my SO. While sometimes he can not understand and becomes frustrated, I know he only has best intentions where I am concerned.

How do I cope? Not well. Other than the limited exercise mentioned above, the odd screaming match and the rarer still church visit, I have no real outlets.. Which sucks. Before I got sick, my outlets for frustration and anger and stress were physical. With the fibro, I have lost that. Any suggestions are welcome 🙂