Hi. My Name is Fibromyalgia, and I’m an Invisible Chronic Illness. I am now velcroed to you for life. Others around you can’t see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me.
I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please. I can cause severe pain or, if I’m in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.
Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun? I took Energy from you, and gave you Exhaustion. Try to have fun now!
I also took Good Sleep from you and, in its place, gave you Brain Fog. I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal.
Oh, yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too.
If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away, too. You didn’t ask for me. I chose you for various reasons: That virus you had that you never recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma. Well, anyway, I’m here to stay! I hear you’re going to see a doctor who can get rid of me.
I’m rolling on the floor, laughing. Just try.
You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively. You will be put on pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given a TENs unit, get massaged, told if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away, told to think positively, poked, prodded, and MOST OF ALL, not taken as seriously as you feel when you cry to the doctor how debilitating life is every day.
Your family, friends will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and that I’m a debilitating disease. Some of they will say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day” or “Well, remember, you can’t do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago”, not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago. Some will just start talking behind your back, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a “Normal” person, and can’t remember what you were going to say next!
In closing, (I was hoping that I kept this part a secret), but I guess you already found out… the ONLY place you will get any support and understanding in dealing with me is with Other People With Fibromyalgia. ♥️
So I overdid it on the Civic holiday weekend and crashed as a result. I’ve been in a flare ever since.. This is a continuation of Crash and Burn.
As I said, Monday was about the same, pain-wise & still working on my sister’s project, but finally got a decent amount of work done on with this project. I think there was no improvement on Monday because I went to soccer.
Tuesday morning showed some more small improvement. That afternoon was my appointment with Dr Sithaparanathan at Neupath Pain Clinic (formerly CPM). Got my full shots & she gave me big trouble for over doing it. She asked my why I overdid it cuz she knows I’m pretty in tune with my body & it’s pain. I had lidocaine infusion on the Tuesday prior & the pain relief was still in effect which is why I didn’t feel any pending problems I guess the impact work off Sunday night/Monday morning while I slept.
So Tuesday afternoon was better, and was spent again at my sister’s.
I noticed significant improvement in weight bearing on Wednesday. The week prior, I was unable to pick up the sewing machine, even just to lift it from the table My brother-in-law had to come over and pick it up to take it to my sister’s. Today, however, I was running errands, one of which was to get the light bulb changed which required me to take the machine with me. I was able to carry it now. It was a bit of a struggle, but I was able to do it, take it out to the car. Yay!
As you can see, we are getting it done & here’s a view of one of her love seats in case I didn’t share before. This just shows the look we are going for with this completed loveseat.
I got some of my own stuff done that day cuz I was not at my sister’s doing stuff, tho several of my errands were related.
At this point, I was still having trouble getting moving in the mornings – usually afternoons right now. Pain levels are still higher when I wake and still having problems getting decent sleep Sunday – 6hrs, Monday – 6 hr, Tuesday after my shots was good with almost 7½, Thursday – 5¾hr, Friday – 4hrs.
While I’m *in* bed by midnight, I am not tired til at least 2am, some times up until 4am. There are also where I wake in the middle of the night wide awake. None of this helps my sleep. Thursday was bad with a combination of both. I was in bed shortly before 1am attempting to sleep. According to my Fitbit, I dozed off at 3:30am & up at almost 5, wide awake and unable to get back to sleep until 8 but even then for only 3 hours before being wide awake. And people wonder why I am completely exhausted some days.
So, overall, pain got better and better, but I was still getting exhausted each day.
i also began to have problems with my ankle &: my knee. Being on vacation, my knee has been fine.. was even good on Sunday after being off seeing since Thursday. However, being Wednesday of my week off, I’m pretty sure the peddle usage has aggravated my gout. I’m icing it & tossing it in my tensor when I’m doing any significant walking.
Let’s hope, with us not starting back up after the long weekend that it starts to heal up on its own. 🙂
For those not familiar with the story. See Below. It was also made into a movie in ’02.
The princess slept on a pile of twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds and still did not sleep well due to the small pee in the middle of the bed under all those mattresses .
I am convinced that the princess in this story had some sort of chronic illness.. From the description, she could have any of the following: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, CFS/ME, Rheumatoid or Osteo- Arthritis, Allodynia, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, Sensory Processing Disorder (In conjunction with or due these other conditions.
The American National Library of Medicine says “Possibly the princess in Hans Christian Andersen’s ‘The Princess and the Pea’ suffered from FMS since chronic sleep disturbances are typical in FMS. These sleep disturbances have been attributed to a dysfunction in the systems regulating sleep and wakefulness resulting in loss of deep sleep. ” That can be said about the other conditions I mentioned as well..
If you do a search of “The Princess and the Pea, chronic illness”, you will get a long list of articles believing that the lass in the story wasn’t just ‘sensitive’, but had a chronic illness. While all of the conditions I mentioned above, it seems Fibromyalgia to be the most common conspiracy theory..
What do you think? Does she have a chronic illness? Which one?
The Story – The Princess and the Pea
A pile of 40 mattresses with a pra under the bottom one
Once upon a time, there was a prince who lived in a wealthy kingdom. When he had reached the proper age, his mother, the queen, decided the time was right for her son to find a bride.
The prince, however was determined not to marry just any girl, but that his future wife should be a “real” princess. So he traveled the world and searched in all the kingdoms and met with all the princesses, but he still wasn’t satisfied.
One evening there brewed a terrible storm, with thunder, lightning, and rain. It was really frightful! In the midst of it all came a knock at the town gate. The old king went to open it.Who should be standing outside but a young lass, and what a sight she was in all that rain and wind. Water streamed from her hair down her clothes into her shoes, and ran out in the heals.
She claimed to be a real Princess. Although no one believed her, she was invited in to stay for the night.
The queen decided to test the young girl’s claim of nobility – without saying a word, the queen went to the bedroom stripped back the bedclothes, and put a single pea in the bottom of the bed. The queen then took 20 mattresses and stacked them on top of the pea and took 20 eiderdown feather beds and piled them on the mattresses. Up on top of all these the princess was to spend the night.
The next morning when the girl woke up, the queen asked how she slept. “Oh very poorly!” she said. “I scarcely closed my eyes all night. Heaven only knows what was in the bed, but I was lying on something hard, and now I am black and blue all over my body. It’s horrible!”“
They saw at once that she must be a real princess when she had felt the pea through twenty mattresses and twenty feather beds. Nobody but a real princess could have such a delicate skin.So the prince took her to be his wife, for now he was sure that he had found a real princess
How much sleep do you really need? In general, most adults need about 7 hours of sleep per night. Children and adolescents need even more – around 9 or 10 hours per night. However, the amount of sleep people need varies widely, ranging from 5 to 10 hours per night. The important thing is to find out how much sleep you need to stay healthy and alert, and then try to get this amount of sleep each night.
People like me, with fibromyalgia have this problem. We require more sleep & rest than the average person.
At my worst I was in bed by midnight, with several extended & cognitively aware wakeup. I’d wake at noon to my alarm. I’d have a nap as well between 1 & 4 hours. I was still exhausted & non-functional.. Currently I am getting about 6ish actual hours of sleep at night as per my fitbit. I generally wake on my own, but use a alarm of I need to be somewhere at a specific time. I, generally, no longer take naps.
I am still exhausted, but because my health is better overall, I am… functional.
The right amount of sleep is the amount that lets you wake up feeling refreshed and well. You may be able to function on the amount of sleep you are getting now, but it still may not be enough for you to reach your full potential. Here’s how to tell if you’re not getting enough sleep:
You need an alarm clock to wake up.
You sleep longer and better on weekends.
You have trouble getting out of bed in the morning.
You feel tired during the day.
You have bags or dark circles under your eyes.
You doze off while sitting in a public place, such as a movie theatre or meeting.
You get drowsy while driving.
You have trouble concentrating.
You have early morning headaches.
I’m sure many fibromites have several of these signs of poor sleep. I laugh at the suggestion of waking feeling refreshed and well – Doesn’t happen much for us..
These are the issues *I* experience:
I still need an alarm clock on occassion, for something important
I have trouble getting out of bed feeling sluggish & pain spikes just after I wake.
I frequently feel tired during the day.
I’ve bags and dark circles under my eyes.
I don’t usually doze off while sitting in a public place but it has happened.
I have only been excessive drowsy while driving three times.
I have trouble concentrating, but this could be fibro fog.
Like the last point, all of these signs could be caused by Fibromyalgia or it could be caused by poor sleep. It is very difficult to differentiate as signs & symptoms are very similar as are the forms of treatment are also very similar.
If you notice any of these signs, you may not be getting enough sleep. Try to gradually increase the amount of sleep you get each night until you find the right amount – you’ll know that you’ve got it when these signs start to go away. If you haven’t been getting enough sleep for a long time, it may take a while to recover. If you’ve tried everything and still have trouble getting a good night’s sleep, talk to your doctor. You may have a sleep disorder.
I agree, if this is a persistent & reoccuring problem, it might be a good idea to see your GP & get a sleep study done to see what’s up in your actual sleep.. I’ll try & post about my sleep study experiences.
I did some exercise before bed. Normally a little exercise drains me & nixes my RLS.. Normally. Not so last night. It backfired.
I couldn’t sleep for a few reasons:
My Restless Leggs Syndrome kicked in despite the exercise. I had to take 1½ Trazadone to get them to settle..
My mind could not shut off..Kept thinking about stuff, like my cub scouts and my plans for the weekend. I just kept going over stuff in my head – despite trying 3 different sleep meditations.
The exercise reacted like it used to – negatively. In the last few years, basic exercise has not been the hindrance it was for the 10+ years prior. So imagine my surprise when in snuggling into bed & my leggs (in addition to RLS) start to hurt.. it was not good. I’ve not had this reaction (other than overdoing it) is several years.
No, the want for immediate gratification and instant response was not for sleep. In this case, it was for my pain meds to work. I had to run 3 courses of meds. The first one the regular evening maintenance pain regime. The second was more Tylenol about an hour later. After still not getting additional relief from the additional meds, I bumped it up, 2 more Tylenol, 2 Robax which includes another, but different, muscle relaxant & anti-inflammatory.
Yes, I live in pain every minute of every single day. It is the Nature of the Beast..
If someone tells you they have fibromyalgia or CFS/ME & are pain free, they are wrong. Pain free days do not happen. If someone is pain free they are either lying to you, lying to themselves or they were misdiagnosed.
Like all Fibromites, I have pain every single day. Some days is really great at 1-2/10, but it has been as bad as 8/10 for my kidney stones. Lately, I’m typically at 3 or 4.
The best I’ve been is a 1.. but a zero? No I have zero pain or painfree days.
I have Fibromyalgia. I live in sin every day. Yes, Every Single Day
So, do I wake up in pain? Yes.
Do I walk my dog in pain? Yes.
Do I do groceries in pain? Yes.
Do I write my blog posts in pain? Of course.
Do I exercise while in pain? Ha – tricky one. Yes, if I can do so without triggering a flare.Do I snuggle up & watch TV or movies in pain? Yes.
Do I socialize in pain? Yup, otherwise I’d be a hermit.
Do I participate in personal adult extra curricular activities while in pain? Unfortunately, yes. There is 2 posts about this topic in the works.
Do do my Scouting in Pain? Yes, I do. Only one person in each group has any clue about how I’m doing Raksha 13 & I have become good friends through Scouting & Rainbow I’ve known grade 8 or 9, but through guiding & scouting.
Don’t I take meds to help with the pain? Yes, but he important word there is *help*.
Now think about this.
Would you be able to handle never-ending pain? Knowing that it will never, ever end? That it could flare-up & knock you out with, if you’re lucky, only a moment’s notice??
Could you handle the negative prospects, knowing that most Fibromites do deteriorate? It means you will likely get worse, not better.
How could you handle additional fibro symptoms like debilitating fatigue matched with bouts of insomnia? What about a loss of cognitive function where you can’t remember silly stuff like the phrase “tug-of-war’ during a game of Pictionary with the kids. How about feeling useless cuz you are unable to help your kid with his math homework because you don’t remember how it works – all you can say is the answer is wrong, but unable to explain why, made worse cuz you had a partial scholarship in Mathematics.
What about the other “smaller” symptoms? IBS? Thyroid issues? Sjorgens Syndrome? Sleep impairment? TMJ? Reynauds Syndrome? Muscle spasms or reoccurring ‘Charlie Horses’? Costochondritis? Muscle weakness? Myofascial Pain Syndrome? Migraines? Allodynia (touch sensitivity)? Chemical sensitivities? Light, noise or smell sensitivities? Restless Legg Syndrome? Paraesthesia?
Admittedly, you won’t have all of these all the time, but they can spontaneously come & go without warning. But is that something you can handle, with the never ending pain & fatigue?
Very few friends can identify how much I’m in pain. My bff can usually spot it a mile off. My sister & occasionally my Mom can tell by looking at me.. I have other friends & family who have learned some of the more obvious signs of higher pain levels.
So yeah, I’m in pain, even as I’m snuggled up in bed, relaxing & medicated. I am still in pain. Always.
This is kinda like the get to know style of bingo, but it’s just for you. Check off what applies to you.
I originally just posted this on my regular social media, but choose to write about here.. The reason I do is the reaction of a friend of mine, Susan.
Late last year she was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. Now, she has been struggling with acceptance that her life he’s been permanently altered through no fault of her own. Recently she say the post on my social media of my bingo card (see below) & noticed that she checked the few spaces I had empty. She then got curious & looked at the rest of the card noticing that she actually checked a majority of the boxes aswell.
This was her “Ah-ha” type moment. And realized “I have a chronic illness.” I think this realization, and acceptance of the hard truth has actually be a relief for her. She’s realized that there are limits and she has to learn where her limits are. But she’s no longer stuck and is able to move forward.
While I’m not happy that my post gobsmacked her in the face with the truth, I am glad she’s got the acceptance and is moving forward.
See where my 3 bingo lines are. How full isUis your card? I know someone who actually checks each box. 😦
Fibromyalgia 
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