Instant Gratification

I know want what I want and I want it now.

I did some exercise before bed. Normally a little exercise drains me & nixes my RLS.. Normally. Not so last night. It backfired.

I couldn’t sleep for a few reasons:

1. My Restless Leggs Syndrome kicked in despite the exercise. I had to take 1½ Trazadone to get them to settle..
2. My mind could not shut off..Kept thinking about stuff, like my cub scouts and my plans for the weekend. I just kept going over stuff in my head – despite trying 3 different sleep meditations.
3. The exercise reacted like it used to – negatively. In the last few years, basic exercise has not been the hindrance it was for the 10+ years prior. So imagine my surprise when in snuggling into bed & my leggs (in addition to RLS) start to hurt.. it was not good. I’ve not had this reaction (other than overdoing it) is several years.

No, the want for immediate gratification and instant response was not for sleep. In this case, it was for my pain meds to work. I had to run 3 courses of meds. The first one the regular evening maintenance pain regime. The second was more Tylenol about an hour later. After still not getting additional relief from the additional meds, I bumped it up, 2 more Tylenol, 2 Robax which includes another, but different, muscle relaxant & anti-inflammatory.

At 5 am I was still awake..

Extra Restless RLS

On Wednesday night I was having problems getting to sleep, big problems. I have Restless Leg Syndrome and when it keeps me up, I take a medication which usually relaxes my body enough to sleep.

^{Restless Leggs keep moving and can’t stop, making you unable to sleep.}

Not this night. No way. I first noticed the issue in my right arm, oddly enough… (Yes. You can get restless leg syndrome in your arms but it’s not the most common place) Then my left leg I noticed was twitching and minutes later my right leg followed suit. All of these are becoming highly hyper-stimulated so much so that normally only one limb that sensitive I know is a significant problem.. But I had three.. I finally noticed my left arm tacked on for the ride, but was fairly ‘mild’ comparatively speaking.

After waiting a half an hour for the meds to kick in, and they didn’t, I knew I’d have to take drastic steps because there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to sleep with three very very restless limbs and one mildly restless arm.

What do I do? I jump on the treadmill. Yes, the RLS can be hugely painful but it wasn’t too bad, achey but mostly just constant moving.. Normally with mild RLS I only have to walk for 5 minutes but this wasn’t mild. Also, my Fitbit doesn’t record exercise until you hit 15 minutes.. lol.. So I was on the treadmill for 20 minutes.. had another quick shower and hopped into bed nice and relaxed.

This is not the end of this story….

A Letter from Fibromyalgia

^{A Letter from Fibromyalgia}

Hii!! My Name is Fibromyalgia, and I’m an Invisible Chronic Illness.

I am now velcroed to you for life.

Others around you can’t see me or hear me, but YOUR body feels me.

I can attack you anywhere and anyhow I please.

I can cause severe pain or, if I’m in a good mood, I can just cause you to ache all over.

Remember when you and Energy ran around together and had fun?

I took Energy from you, and gave you Exhaustion. Try to have fun now! I also took Good Sleep from you and, in its place, gave you Brain Fog.

I can make you tremble internally or make you feel cold or hot when everyone else feels normal.

Oh, yeah, I can make you feel anxious or depressed, too.

If you have something planned, or are looking forward to a great day, I can take that away, too.

You didn’t ask for me. I chose you for various reasons: That virus you had that you never recovered from, or that car accident, or maybe it was the years of abuse and trauma. Well, anyway, I’m here to stay!

I hear you’re going to see a doctor who can get rid of me. I’m rolling on the floor, laughing. Just try. 

You will have to go to many, many doctors until you find one who can help you effectively.

^{Pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, anti-anxiety pills}

You will be put on pain pills, sleeping pills, energy pills, anti-anxiety pills, antidepressants, anti-epileptic or anti-convulsant pills. You will be told you are suffering from anxiety or depression, given a TENs unit, get massaged. You will be told that if you just sleep and exercise properly I will go away, told to think positively. You will be poked and prodded. MOST OF ALL, you will not taken as seriously as you feel when you cry to the doctor how debilitating it is to live your life, every single day.

Your family, friends will all listen to you until they just get tired of hearing about how I make you feel, and that I’m a debilitating disease.

Some of they will say things like “Oh, you are just having a bad day” or”Well, remember, you can’t do the things you use to do 20 YEARS ago”, not hearing that you said 20 DAYS ago. Some will just start talking behind your back, while you slowly feel that you are losing your dignity trying to make them understand, especially when you are in the middle of a conversation with a “Normal” person, and can’t remember what you were going to say next!

In closing, (I was hoping that I kept this part a secret), but I guess you already found out… the ONLY place you will get any support and understanding in dealing with me is with Other People With Fibromyalgia.