Socializing While In Pain

Do I socialize when I’m in pain?

Yup, I socialize, otherwise I’d be a hermit!

Yup! Otherwise I’d be a hermit. Plus, very few friends can identify how much I’m in pain. My bff & my sister can tell by looking at me.. I have other friends & family who have learned the signs.

Mom can tell usually just by looking at me.. not always, but usually.. My sister is pretty good.. Her kids & hubby not so much – ironically I think the kid of hers that would recognize the best is her youngest, because he has seen me the most over the last few years.

My guy friend T has, over the last 3½ years learned quite a bit about how to read the non-verbal clues.

My BFF also has fibro & is sometimes a little too focused on her own fibro to catch my issues. Only reason I can gauge her easily is that she has an emotional response to her issues that I don’t even think she’s aware of.

My second BFF also has his own issues, and usually only sees me on better days.. I don’t think he’s even seen me at mediocre or worse in a long time..

Them there’s some of the Scouters I work with.. Raksha 13th & I have become good friends through Scouting & Rainbow I’ve known since grade 8 or 9, but through guiding & scouting as well. They are pretty good a picking things up.

There are other friends who are less prevalent in my life but even they can recognize some signs if I’m having issues

What I Can Do.

So, there is the basics of who I tend to see most, then the next thing is *what I can do*. Mind you the days when I’m seriously f****d up due to symptoms, I don’t talk to anyone unless I haveta Haveta HAVETA.

Now pain & other symptoms varyy from week to week, day to day, even hour to hour.. Fortunately in the last few years the hour to hour option seems to happen less and less frequently, but for a long time that is how I had to play it.

When my pain levels are super high, any communication is digital.. To everyone. If you’re lucky..

^{Digital Communication Only on my Worst Days, At Best}

Next level down:

• Mild exercise like walking my dog around the court
• Have company over for low maintenance visits
• Socialize for dinner with Mom & Dad

^{Exercise by walking the Dog Around the Court Is All I Can Handle Some Days.}

As my pain levels drop, I can be more sociable in activities that require less interaction such as:

• Hanging out with selects friends in a quiet environment, such as a campfire, living room, patio, poolside, dock.. This would be BFF’s, & T, for the most part
• Walking around the neighbourhood
• Watching the kids’ soccer games
• Visiting the family cottage for a few days
• Visiting the gym for a hot tub!

^{Hanging out with Friends, in Front of the Campfire, or Otherwise, Though we use Chairs – LOL}

As the pain levels drop a moderate to low level I can usually do the following:

• Karaoke
• General.Cub Scout Activities
• Marksmanship
• Hangout with friends in a noisier, bigger, busier location like a restaurant or bar
• Moderate exercise like the walks with my sister & the pups
• cub Scout meetings!
• Glamping at my BFF’s cottage
• Concerts (depending on who, I may go on a worse day & accept the consequences)
• Professional sporting events like the Leafs, TFC or The Rock.. & to a lesser extent, Argos, Jays or Raptors..

^{Concerts with Friends Are Always Fun!!}

So assuming my pain level is low, there is a lot I can do. I can:

• More strenuous exercise such as cycling
• Visit the gym for Aquafit, yoga, weights, or the track. I had gotten in a few slow Zumba classes in before COVID..
• I can Camp – not the glamping like at the cottage, but camping with friends, and even my Cub Scouts . In fact we were going to Camp Impressa for a year end camp earlier this month with my senior Cubs & the Scouts (See more in this post).. & I just went camping 2 weekends ago with T
• Sporting activities like soccer with the girls or golfing with T
• Some of the more physical activities in Cub Scouts.. Such as teaching how to put up tents, waterproofing the bedroll, setting up grey water, basic orienteering, limited kayaking/canoeing, etc..
• The Pheonix. – Dancing at the club!
• Hiking (like fairly flat, fairly short, nothing overnight – Second Marsh near me is a good example)
• Roadtrip!

Easy Hiking with Friends

What I can not do.

There are so many things now that I would like to do that I just not in the cards. These are activities the I’ve either done or were at one point on the bucket list. This includes activities such as:

• White water rafting. T wants to go – I can do the camping part, but not the rafting part
• Backpacking/ Hiking. This includes longer hikes, more challenging hikes, or overnight hikes. I can not lug an air mattress through the wilderness 😄
• Winter outdoor camping
• Amusements parks – can’t do most of the rides, and way too much walking.
• Skiing
• Horseback Riding
• Zip-lining (not sure I’d do that anyways)

_{^{Canada’s Wonderland, the Prominent Amusement Park in the Toronto Ontario Area.}}

What would you like to do that you know you will never do again?

Self-Care

I figure today is the perfect day to discuss this topic, as today July 24 is Self-Care Day,!

What is Self-Care?

Self-care, as defined by the World Health Organization, as what a person does for one’s self to establish and maintain health and to prevent and deal with illness. This includes hygiene, nutrition, lifestyle & activities, environmental factotrs, sociao-ecpnomic factors and self-medication.  This includes physical as well as mental & emotional health.

So, basically, taking care of one’s self.  & showing yourself some love.

But this is something us with chronic illnesses have a problems doing.  We tend not to prioritize ourselves in the grand scheme of things.  It is something we need to do to help ourselve help get us better. Not healed, but better.. I guess a more appropriate word would be improved (that is another blog post in & of itself)

So what to do to help ones self? There are a ton of things you could do. Here is a by no means exhaustive list of thngs to help improve your personal health, or self-care.  A search on Google will give you additional ideas as well as suggestions for 30 days of self-care, a cheat sheet or a self-care checklist. I’m sure the list below includes information from these sources.

Self-Care Ideas

• Take a walk
• Meditate
• Call a friend
• Go out for a coffee/drink with a friend
• Read
• Warm bath, or hot tub
• Yoga
• Tale a nap
• Dance or just listen to music
• Sing
• Keep hydrated
• Sexual Acrivity
• Compliment someone else (You’d be surprised at how well this can make you feel)
• Plan kindness activities
• Colour.. or Paint.. Do something creative
• Knit, sew, crochet, macrame, needlepoint. Make something
• Mani/pedi
• Get a massage
• Hug your kids, furbabies, nieces, nephews, grandkids
• Stretch
• Watch something funny – Tv show, movie, theatre
• Plan a dream vaction
• Plan what you would do if you won $25million
• Take a trip to the salon to get your hair done
• Get dressed up just to get dressed up.. If you look good, you feel good
• Journal
• Declutter a space on your home
• Say or find posotive affeirmations. My mirror says “You’re Beautiful”. Who am I to argue wiht the mirror mirror on the wall?? 😉
• Volunteer
• Try something new
• Ask for help!
• Unplug. (This one is difficult for me)
• Plan & eat a nutrional, healthy and delicious meal, bonus if its a new recipie
• Hang with a friend
• Watch funny videos.. I like Jeff Dunhan & Fliffy
• Exercise
• Eat dessert, but not every day!
• Start a new, good habit
• Create a bucket list.. A fanaticl one or a realisitic one, your choice
• Pop Bubble Wrap!
• Watch cute videos online – I love puppy videos, and the kitten ar cute too.. 🙂
• Go for a drive
• Deep slow breathing
• Play with or cuddle with your pet
• Learn a new skill
• Practice positive selft-talk
• Walk outside, feel the grass under your feet. (watch for glass if not in your backyard)
• Forgive. Not for them, for you. it help you heal
• Talk with someone, even a therapist or councillor
• Remove negative people or groups from your social media
• Family activity day
• Make a list of what you are grateful for. Start with being alive, having shelter, and a full belly.. Go from there.
• Sit in front of the campfire – Make smores, spider dogs, or mountain pies
• Learn something new
• Play a sport you enjoy, or watch it professionally

So..  Lots of choices as I said, There are alot of other options out there.  Remember this activitiy, or lack threeof, is to make you feel better.

My Go To’s:

• Meditate
• Slow, deep, easy breathing – helps me sleep
• Read
• Drive – I love to drive.
• Muisc – Listen, sing or dance to.
• Volunteer (I’ve been a Scouter with Scouts Canada in some form or another for almost 20 years. – COVID’s made it a challenge)
• Mani/Pedi – by myself or at a salon
• Hair Salon – Love the head massage when she washes my hair
• Sitting by the campfire, preferably with friends or the Cubs with approapriate libations & snacks
• Massage therapy
• Exercise, when viable.. Walks, jogs, Yoga Aqua-fit, arriba dance, etc..  dependng on pain & energy levels
• Hot Tub. I prefer bewtween 99-102.. Can’t do hotter. 😦
• Huggs 🙂 From wherever safely possible
• Sex, with or without a partner
• Go for a drive
• Compliment somone – their hair, nails, clothing, shoes, etc..
• Forgive
• Colour and/or paint
• Knots. Not a typical activity, but i like the challenge, plus im a Scouter, go figure.
• Socialization with friends & family
• Play or Cuddle with Lilly, my dog. ( See: “She Saved Me” post for more info on her.)
• Call someone or at least check in for only that purpose, to see how they are.
• Think or plan how i\I’d spend lottery winnings
• & the obvious – Journalling. My blog, my instagram & facebook pages help me express myself.

What to Avoid:

• Excessive or inaprropriate drinking or drug use
• Maintaining toxic relationships
• Argue excessively
• Ovedoing an exercise routine
• Stressful situations
• Gambling
• High-risk behaviours
• Voilence to one’s self or others
• Other self-destructive behaviours
• Self-isolation (except as needed for COVID, but even then you can zoom or call or text) aka Social suicide
• Becoming abusive
• Self-defeating Mindsets
• Narcissism
• Self-harm
• Personal neglect – Physical or mental
• Refusing help

What self-care activities do you do?

What new activity would yuo like to try?

What is setting you back?

COVID19 and Me

I’ve spoken to many people in the fibro community about this & it seems I’m not the only one deteriorating.. With over 3 months since many of our non-western medical treatments.. So, for most of us it’s only medications that we have access to, and if we are lucky, pain injections..

We are finding out how much our treatments help us.. Massage Therapy, Physiotherapy, Acupuncture, Osteopathy, Chiropractic Care.. For some it’s the ability to exercise when all pools and gyms have closed including even private facilities. I’m sure there are other possible treatments that I haven’t mentioned – remind me of what they are!!

Personally, I’ve lost physiotherapy & osteopathy, massage therapy, aquafit with other exercise at the gym, and the hot tub – God, I miss the hot tub.

But what I am missing most? Socialization..I’m still in contact with friends, and doing my scouting thing, but it’s not the same. I’ve only seen my best friend once through the glass door & subsequently only on Zoom. I haven’t heard from some of my Cub Scouts in months since we went virtual. There are three that despite attempts for contact, that we have not heard hide nor hair of.

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Note: the above was originally written in mid-June before we started to re-open in my area. In the last week I have finally had social distance visits with my 2 best friends. I was glad to see them both.

I’ve also seen my RMT, I see my Osteopath next week. And even have my hair appointment with my Mom on Friday.

Now, some pools have opened and the splash pads. Unfortunately, some community & all private gyms like mine are not open.