Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

How the Cottage Went

September 16, 2022

Some of you may have noticed that some posts are no longer visible. In hindsight, probably not the best place to vent. So for those who missed it, here is my birthday weekend in a nutshell:

Needless to say, it sucked.

Shock

Cognitive Issues with this Project

September 13, 2022

I have been sewing to some extent, all my life starting with Brownie badges & Barbie clothes.

In Jr high I made a denim pencil case, some board shorts, & a couple of pillows. Growing up I helped Mom with her sewing projects

Over the years I’ve branched out on my own projects. I made myself clothing as some of the plus clothing in the stores just didn’t suit me or were poor quality. I’ve made pants, overalls, capris, dresses, camp ponchos, Halloween costumes, etc.. I even helped my mom make pajamas for my nieces. Then there were covid masks – lots of COVID tri-layered home made covid masks.

I’ve made alterations of different types including simple hems, preplacing elastic waist bands, reinforcing hems, adjusting the fit of dresses, mending of many a dog toy, not to mention tons of buttons & camp & uniform patched &:badges.

So, needless to say, I have had a decent grasp of the concepts with sewing.

Recently, my sister asked me to help her sew slip covers for her outdoor furniture. I agreed before I found out there were 28 cushions to cover.

Now, I know I’ve had cognitive impairments that have impacted my ability to function. Family members have not noticed to what extent this has impacted me, until this project.

Both my Mom and my sister are stunned with the amount of problems I’ve been having. We all agree I am not stupid. I’m quite intelligent but there are so many other ways I’m having issues.

Poor Communication : I think I’ve told someone something that I thought I had. I also have trouble explaining concepts, ideas, solutions in a way that others can understand I will bet I’ve not explained the problems accurately or succinctly enough below to make most people understand issues I encountered. Then solutions to problems (see below) that my sister recommended were the same as mine but just from a different angle but somehow I can not able to explain it. It happened so many times & I was so frustrated with myself that I just let her do what she wanted, sometimes even if I knew it was wrong and I couldn’t explain why.

Ability to Remember / Relearn : I should know basic sewing skills like how to thread a bobbin, which way to sew a hem, how & where to place a seam, knowing what stitches do certain functions, how hard to pull the material through, how quickly to run the machine. These are all basic skills I had and in some cases have taken up to a week to remember or relearn.

Poor Problem Solving Skills : With sewing from our own pattern, I’ve encountered multiple problems, many due to missing the skills above. I had taken me days to figure out solutions to some of the problems for example, seams. I keep reversing my seems and putting the seem on the incorrect side, putting the rough on the outside instead in the inside resulting in many seams being removed and redone. Another is sewing only the fabric required & not accidentally overlapping other parts of the material – I still did this a week after starting. My sister even said my problem solving skills were so bad that I probably would not even be able to work at a job as basic as McDonald’s.

Inability to make corrections: This goes with the problem solving skills. I had a piece of material with one side of velcro on it. I sewed the piece on correctly. However, I had seen it on incorrectly. I had though I’d put the velcro on the wrong side, so I ripped it off. This made the initial blunder even worse, because after I’d switch the velcro to the top, I was then able to see that I had sewing it correctly to begin with, but had reversed the seam. So I had to remove the piece and the velcro again. I had to replace the velcro to the original correct side and resew the side piece coorectly. I was so frustrated and almost in tears because I never would have made this massive double blunder when I was younger.

Spacial Impairment : First, I have a good background in mathematics including social orientation and had even earned a small scholarship as a result, but my sister never had that as a strength. So, as I mentioned above, we were sewing from our own pattern, nothing pre established. It was based on a YouTube video my sister watched. I’ve had alot of problems understanding the way she has wanted me to sew certain pieces on & how they should work together. The only way we were able to visualize how things should be done was by actually putting the fabric on the cushions. Neither of us could get the orientation in our heads. For my sister, that was fine, but for me, it had been a strength and I felt so useless.

It just upsets me, writing this post, to actually write down how many problems I have, how many intellectual skills I have lost. I’m almost in tears. Frustration? Grief? I don’t know.

So because of how obvious it has become, my mom & sister have both suggested I talk to my doctor about these issues Because I can not explain the issues well, my Mom is coming with me, and I’ve asked my sister to write up her opinion. She actually asked me if she wanted her to write it in a way that won’t hurt my feelings. I know it’s bad, so I told her to be blunt & straight up. I know she has great communication skills, so she will be able to express my problems in a way I can never do.

I asked Wendy to write something up for my doctor & accidentally got the date wrong so this is the quick blurb she wrote for my GP.

"So working memory… able to hold things in head to process them, general memory.. asking questions that u had asked a few minutes before, making same sewing mistake many times e.g side sections.. still sew up past stop line after 8 corners, doesn't occur to you figure problem solve this e.g double pin… you came up with solution but I brought up the idea to problem solve this."

I’m pretty sure the issues are due to fibro because I *have* had assessments done and even several MRIs because of it.

I have blood work which I have done and I’ve scheduled a cognitive and memory test for the 29th of August. I follow up Dr Uju I’m September 6th

fyi

September 6, 2022

For me, with depression, comes short temper, bitchiness a short fuse, isolation and zero motivation.

The only time you will see me do are the ones that are required, in my opinion, I’m dealing with one of my vices, are the rare times I am trying to get out of my head.

if I want to talk, I’ll tell you.

Protected: The Final Birthday Diss

September 3, 2022

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Protected: The Accumulated Issues

September 1, 2022

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Protected: BFF Birthday Issues

August 30, 2022

This content is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Happy Birthday

August 27, 2022

At Cottage & Camping

August 26, 2022

So.. here’s the way the rest of my cottage week went.


On Friday afternoon I will be heading to Catherine’s.. She invited me up with all the ladies who were in her bridal party, less Lindsay of course. The only reason I was not in her bridal party was cuz Rob would not even allow me to go to the wedding despite her last minute invite. – yrs, she told me that if I said I’d come, she would immediately promote me to bridesmaid.

Ok… So camping at her Cottage.. apparently I’m the only one able to tent it.. “eyeroll* Cath & Meagan are in her in law:s room. One girl’s in Cath & Brett’s room, one is on the pull out couch & one has refused to come.

She eanted a girl’s weekend & since Meagan leaves for Calgary, permanently next weekend, it had to be this weekend, my weekend

i sm not sure how this weekend will go.. I don’t know Natasha very well. I haven’t seen Nancy in about 20 years. I know Cath was a basket case when Li dsay left -;dunno what’ll happen with Meagan even tho Lindsay was her favourite. )Meag was her dad’s favourite, but he’s turned into a complete dickhead – doubt he’ll see her before she goes)

& its my birthday weekend.. so God only knows what’ll happen then.. last year I went to bed early when she wanted to do cake & pressies. Mind you I had a partner with me that weekend and he fell asleep at the campfire.. lol.

So we will see how this goes.

At The Cottage

August 23, 2022

Every year I take the cottage for the week of or the week before my birthday. Because my sister is away during my birthday on a family vacation with her, the husband and the kids, I extended an invitation to the nieces and nephew that if they wanted to come and hang up with me at the cottage before they left they were more than welcome to.

Cottage lake view

Unfortunately the invitation somehow got miscommunicated and my nephew took me up on it. He didn’t realize it was to hang out with me and brought friends with him. I initially told him that I was cool with him bringing *A* friend up and they could have the bunk bed room. He obviously did not understand what I meant, so the cottage has got taken over by four teenagers. Fortunately, he did realize that he has responsible for himself and his friends. This includes bringing their own food, cooking their own food, cleaning up after themselves and sort of being respectful of my space.. Still working on that..

They are here til Thursday evening, which should be interesting esp when I told them they can’t be on or near the dock tomorrow, Wednesday, between 6:30 & 8:30 for my meeting.. I suggested dinner.. *smirk*

I will let you know Friday how it worked out!

Current Mental Health Issues – Updated

August 19, 2022

I’ve been dealing with some personal mental health issues for the last week or so, which is causing an larger difficulty to focus and concentrate on stuff with working on the stuff with my sister it’s been taking my all

Fortunately, I’m up to the cottage for the next week & hopefully can regenerate some and maybe finish off topics I’ve started here & left hanging.

if you’re wondering why…please see my previous mental health post here The issues discussed are still pretty much ongoing..